#261 – When will the need to 'be right' trip you up?

Who am I to decide what's right and what's wrong, anyway?

On Sunday, coming back from my retail job, I found myself typing a long, detailed email to my supervisors. I was irritated because they'd turned the after-shift report into a tedious collection of questions of dubious relevance.

I didn't hit send – never send an email when angry, they say.

On Monday, I realized I was 'attached to being right.' The Ghost of Need to Prove was pulling the strings in my mind.

I could think, "no, but wait: you're helping the program when you give feedback!"

Ok, maybe. But also, offering to help before being asked shows contempt, a sign that we're not holding people as naturally creative, resourceful and whole. In other words, savior complex.

The email was cordial and followed the Nonviolent Communication process. But two things made me realize sending it wasn't the right move:

1. This was a manager's decision, and I'm just a rep – so, above my pay grade
2. Something floating around in my head said "I can do it better"

Ha! The Ghost of Need to Prove was making me be the kid who didn't get the role they wanted in the school play: I want to be the manager in place of the manager!

The problem here isn't that I'd jeopardize my position by sending the email. The problem is that I was hanging on to the clenched-fists feeling of I'm right but they don't listen! And that's just an energy-drain.

Clear as daylight. I went to the email app and pressed "discard draft." Phew! I breathed and went on with my day – not thinking twice about my weekend job.

What rightness do you need to let go of so you can claim back your mental space?

Love,

Carolina