#124 – Are you up for a challenge?

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I started to learn about the sneaky ways we attack ourselves in May of 2020, when I went through the Positive Intelligence program.

The program helps participants recognize the host of inner critics, or "Saboteurs" (what I call Ghosts), ruled by "The Judge" (what I call the Ego), that populate the mind.

It was then that I met my Judge: an elegant French woman, reminiscent of a high school Language Arts teacher I once had. She would laugh, tossing her golden curls back as her cashmere cardigan framed her impeccable sternum, at my aspirations to write.

Anything about me or my life earned her commentary, and she quickly categorized it as either good or bad.

Noticing the damaging effect this mental tenant had on my well-being, I decided to stop declaring things, people (myself included), or circumstances as either good or bad.

Since then, I've worked on keeping this promise, which (incidentally) has helped me expand my vocabulary and write with more precision.

Speaking from one's perspective may feel risky, as if we're exposing too much of what’s inside – whereas making a judgment feels protective.

When I say, "This is bad," or "your behavior is unacceptable," or "this curry is too spicy," I’m hiding behind a statement as if it were a universal truth. But it’s not, because (and a general election puts this idea front and center) it's merely my opinion.

So, here’s the challenge: for the next 90 days, will you try with all your might to avoid making judgments? Every time you feel tempted to utter a judgment, try going deeper into your attitude about that thing or person and speaking from there.

How will you change when you no longer need to judge?

Love,

Carolina