#508 – What parts of you seek retaliation?

A Course In Miracles says that whenever you feel something other than love (fear, anger, retaliation), you're "in Ego." Because, the course says, the True Self knows only love.

I feel fear often these days. My son's health, my finances, our future.

Last night, it happened again: middle of the night, noises from the kitchen, my son's talking with friends––when he should be sleeping–– and me? Thinking about things I can't control.

A thought emerged: "when we move, his computer will go in the moving truck; he won't have it right away––or what does he think, that he's gonna take it with him on the plane so he can start playing as we land? Nah-uh, no, sir!"

I sensed this faint desire to "get back at him." Something in me said, "he deserves punishment for his misbehavior," where ‘misbehavior' stood for video-gaming and eating at night, for being plagued by things I can't comprehend related to 10 months sharing a cell with dangerous men and violence-prone guards.

What lack of compassion on my part! 

What part? My Ego, of course, the part that's always afraid of the future (of his health, his life, our life).

Fearing the future: the clearest sign that your Ego is in charge. Because the Ego is such a "small-minded" part of yourself, it wants retaliation against anything making it uncomfortable: feelings of uncertainty, difficulty, loss, or awareness that it can't control the world.

But if you focus on what's happening here and now, remembering that everything is exactly how it's supposed to be, you take your power back. And when your Ego wants to take revenge, you remind it that here, now, you're okay.

Where might your desire to 'teach someone a lesson' actually be your Ego seeking retaliation for its own discomfort and fear?

Love,

Carolina