#170 – How can I find some truth in opposing views?

Have you ever had an argument with someone that felt like spinning round in circles without moving an inch? We all have and it's frustrating – and yes, endless, useless, and meaningless.

That's because our position seems so logical and clear to us that we believe the other person must be blind if they don't see what we do. Why don't they get it? It's such a no-brainer – right?

Well, it's "such a no-brainer" for our particular brain, which has accumulated its own specific experiences and created its set of memories, tastes, likes, dislikes, beliefs, and understanding of reality.

While the other person's brain has created its own.

Both sets of experiences are right... for the owner of that particular brain. That's why in the world of relationship systems* coaching, we have Rule #1:

"Everyone's right... partially."

If I want to be totally right, I need to be by myself. I can't share my world with anyone else, and I can't let anyone else to share their world with me.

Now, if I want to be in relationship, I need to stay in the "partially right" territory. To leave my mind open to the other person's view of the world – which their brain has constructed based on years and years of experiences, different than mine.

How can I do that? By asking a simple question: "What's the 2% truth in what they're saying?" And then doing the exercise of finding that truth in their view (or behavior, belief, words...).

The added benefit is that by asking that question, I tell my Ego and the Ghost of Need to Prove to step down, that "I've got this." Like a jealous partner the Ego and the Ghosts want to separate me from others. Therefore, opening my mind to the possibility that the other person's also right keeps us connected to each other.

What connection can you keep open by seeking the 2% truth?

Love,

Carolina

*A relationship system is a group of people who share a common purpose and are interdependent: teams, couples, hiking groups, families or rock bands are relationship systems. "Rule #1" comes from the Organizational & Relationship Systems Coaching framework, developed by Center for Right Relationship (CRR Global).