#480 – How does freedom feel when you let others have their "issues?"

If you've ever felt responsible for the world, you know what I'm talking about.

Once again, my morning pages delivered.

I was trying to describe the feeling I have about my son's big belly: every time I see it, it hurts. But it doesn't only hurt emotionally—it’s physical, visceral.

As I looked for words to express it, I realized the absurdity that someone else's body could feel like a part of myself. Yes, of course, he was part of me once, but that was long ago—almost 21 years. He carries some of my genetic information, but we're two distinct individuals.

What am I doing "feeling his feelings?" Feelings I'm not even sure he has. (I don't know what he feels about his own belly—if anything.)

Something a friend told me came up: "Have you heard of codependence?"

Ha. I thought I knew all about it—and that I was no longer one. That yes, I’d grown up in a codependent family, but I was over it now.

Turns out, no—I’m not over it. And it’s corroding my peace.

I have no answer or miracle cure today. Just a question: how can I quit it?

How did you overcome the need to be needed?

Love,

Carolina