#302 – What do you stand to gain when you're angry?

When you feel that someone (or the world) has wronged you, you feel right––and righteous. Anger may then come to the rescue, to fuel, motivate, and give you the energy to defend yourself.

This morning, my husband and I FaceTimed my in-laws in Spain. Talking about my son's case, he started inserting expletives in his narrative of how things are going, enunciating emphatically, and underlining his words with hand gestures.

Because I want to stay away from "attack thoughts" as much as possible, I remained silent while he spoke, repeating to myself, "this is not me" as though it were a mantra.

I understand the anger, but I ask myself, is it helpful or does it deplete more than it energizes?

Anger comes from the Ego. In its arrogance, asserting it knows more about life than life itself, it judges something "shouldn't" be happening.It raises up in arms and pushes you to "defend yourself."

Maybe it enlists some Ghosts:

• Of Time Indifference, so that you forgo your patience
• Of Need to Prove, so that you insist on showing how right you are
• Of Clinging to Useless Possessions, so that you remember minute details of times past that help you reactivate old resentments.

By engaging in these self-protection tactics, you distract yourself from what's most important: accepting reality.

Sure, keeping the anger in is no solution either. What can you do instead?

Acknowledge that the anger is there; feel it in your body, allow it to expand until it's so thin it's lost its power, and then let it go.

Don't cling to the anger or try to understand what caused it. But also don't ignore it or pretend it's not there.

And don't fixate on the problem––just let it be and let the anger pass through you.

Because the truth is, anger will deplete you.

What will you gain when feel the anger and then let it go?

Love,

Carolina