#420 – What about inner peace sends your Ego into a spin?

Inner peace sounds like a great place to be. Yet your Ego hates it: your peace threatens its very existence.

I discovered it yesterday, as I dragged my feet to my morning meditation, which I ended up skipping.

I've been avoiding meditation since August 19 because, in my Joe Dispenza meditations, I'd been visualizing the Judge not adjudicating my son, and then he did. So I got resentful. Not against the Judge or a corrupt justice system, but against the meditation practice itself.

Why? Because it'd "failed me." It'd given me an inner peace that wasn't "deserved:" my son will have a felon label attached to his name for life.

The inner peace had been an illusion, something to keep me going until the "moment of truth" arrived. And now that it was here, the inner peace just prevented me from "solutionizing."

You see where I'm going. The inner peace was the true path, but my Ego rejected it, calling it an "illusion."

My Ego and the Ghosts wanted me to stay busy, preoccupied, pacing up and down while my son enjoys freedom. Worrying about his future, his mental health, his sleep, his whatever, whatever, whatever––the thing is to worry.

And of course, when I meditate, I find that inner peace. During those 20 minutes saying a mantra, I'm nowhere or no time else than here and now. I don't worry, I don't solutionize. I'm free. I expand. That's what threatens my Ego.

If I expand, I might no longer need it and then, it'll find itself in the unemployment line and what will it do?

Frankly, that's not my problem.

How is your Ego nudging you to reject inner peace, to keep you trapped in a vicious worrying loop?

Love,

Carolina