#133 – How much do you care about being right?

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Picture the scene: you're about to go into that important meeting – with the board, a potential new client, a hiring manager, your partner. What's going on in your body?

Racing mind? Fluttery stomach? Sweaty palms? Dry mouth?

I'm sure you've heard it before: fear and excitement feel the same in the body. Fear? Do you feel it, even just a little? That sense of being on the line?

If you do, know that it's the Ghost of Need to Prove, whispering in your ear, "if you don't get it right, you're gonna be in trouble."

I know that ghost well. Once, the fear was so overwhelming that driving to a meeting, I found myself wishing a truck would crash into me and kill me. Death felt easier than walking into that boardroom.

My boss had told me I needed to make the right impression. But what if I couldn't? And what was right, exactly?

That kind of pressure is too big – who could do anything right under such a powerful microscope?

So the key isn't to prepare until you erase (or conceal) all your blemishes and become perfect. The key is to step away from the spotlight.

Everything changes when you shift your focus away from yourself and onto the moment in front of you. It's not about pretending you're not there but about remembering that whatever happens, it's not about you.

It's not about being right but about being of service. Instead of:

• "I need to be right because the board is examining me" think "I'm here to serve the board—how can I best do that?"

• "I need to say the right things to make this client buy" think "I'm here to serve this client—am I truly the best person to help them?"

• "I need to give the right answers to get this job" think "I'm here to help this company find the right hire—am I that person?"

• "I need my partner to treat me right" think "I'm here to serve this relationship—what does this mean now?"

Where is the need to be right getting in the way of your presence with life?

Love,

Carolina