#167 – What's the antidote to the fear/hope spell?

In fear/hope mode, we're like in a bubble of smog – we can't see what's in front of us, let alone what's outside.

They say (and I've written) that the only way out is through, but in this case, the real antidote is just to drop the hope – after we've recognized it's there.

Think of a couple scenarios:

Scenario 1: You're about to bungee-jump from a 50-ft tall bridge.

Do you hope the rope is short enough so that you don't smash your skull onto the ground?

Or do you take measurements (or trust the person who's taken them) to confirm its length and elasticity?

Scenario 2: You're about to walk into a job interview. It's the job of your dreams (which, in and of itself is setting up for disappointment).

Do you hope that you'll be able to answer all the questions the interviewer asks you and hope that you'll fit the role to the T?

Or do you relax into yourself and the situation, knowing that whatever decision they make, it's got little to do with you? Because, how do you know the CEO's daughter-in-law didn't apply for the same role? Or the company isn't ready to hire now but they want to get a sense of the type of talent they're attracting? Or the interviewer had a call from their doctor a few minutes before with quite distressing news?

In other words: fear and hope are futile – they're not going to change the outcome.

If something's within your control, take the necessary measures to take charge of the situation – which, by the way, doesn't mean to dress a certain way or use certain words to make a certain impression: that's called manipulation, and it's not the "take charge" I'm talking about.

And if it's not within your control, just relax and allow life to unfold, doing your best to be yourself and 'serve' the moment in front of you.

Because the moment in front of you, let's face it, has very little to do with you.

Where are you clinging to hope because you're too afraid to let go?

Love,

Carolina

PS: You can now read the first 91 essays in this series in my book, Unfolding Your Mind: Notes on Ghosts, Power, and the Self. If you’d like to buy it for you or someone else, you can get it on Kindle or paperback here. Thank you!