#161 – What's the Ghost of Isolation's busiest time of the year?

All the Ghosts wring their hands in anticipation whenever the Ego sends them to work on you. They love their jobs: that warm feeling when they whisper in your ears the things you should do instead of what you're doing, what you should be ashamed for, when they praise all the paths you didn't take or point at your innumerable shortcomings...

But there's one that is the busiest around "happy" times: the Ghost of Isolation (GoI).

When others are coming together to celebrate happiness, your GoI is there sitting on your shoulder, making you see how rich and adaptive other people's lives are.

• "This man's son has never lived what your son is going through."
• "Oh, this guy's boss never bullied him."
• "She's still married and her wonderful husband, who loves her very much, cooks dinner every night."
• "They had an idyllic childhood, with emotionally mature parents and nurturing teachers."

And all the other gazillion things that make you feel you're the only one in the world who's ever suffered.

The more winter lights and merry songs, the sadder your GoI makes you feel – because you're alone in this world full of "normal" people.

But you? Your GoI shakes its head and tsks its tongue – being 'normal' like them? Mission: impossible.

What this Ghost doesn't know, is that it dissolves in company. Sharing your tragedies makes it go away and with it, your feeling of loneliness. That's what makes the act of being witnessed so powerful.

When's the last time you shared a painful secret and felt relieved?

Love,

Carolina

PS: I've compiled the first 91 essays in this series in a book, Unfolding Your Mind: Notes on Ghosts, Power, and the Self. If you'd like to buy it for you or someone else, you can preorder it on Kindle or paperback here (it'll arrive before Christmas... Just saying!).