#275 – What's the point of defining "success?"

When I arrived in New York in 2014, Sheryl Sandberg's "lean in" approach to female leadership was all the rage. From career counselors to role models, everyone suggested that women create our own definition of success, that we don't let others define it for us.

Because, they said, you're only in charge if you can specify what "success looks like for you." You know what you want and go after it.

Yeah. But.

If unconditional happiness is possible, what's the point of defining "success?"

Moreover, once you've defined success, what do you call everything else –– "failure?"

About to graduate from grad school in 2016, I "defined my success." One evening at a networking event for LatinX in communications, I stood up in the toasty conference room and declared that, for me, success was to land a six-figure job.

The room burst out laughing –– like, "dream on, girl!" I was proud of my assertiveness, but from there, profound nervousness and unhappiness ensued.

Until I reached "success on my terms," not only did I feel like a failure, I also feared that my "failure" identity would be forever confirmed if I couldn't manifest my "success."

But.

What if we erased the concept of success altogether? If it's possible to be happy no matter what, there's never a different state than success –– so, failure doesn't exist.

And if failure doesn't exist, why bother defining success and even give it a special status?

What if success is to be alive and experience life as it comes?

How would you live if you stopped labeling success and failure?

Love,

Carolina