#477 – What happens when you mute your voice?

Whenever you acquiesce when you really mean no, you're putting a gag in your Self. Sooner or later, the pressure is too much and you explode in a Godzilla-like wrath, torching everything in sight with your breath.

My son was 14 months when I first fed him green beans. A friend came to visit while my toddler was fighting his urge to send them flying. It was clear that he wasn't enjoying them (they were harsh and papery, I have to admit).

My friend, surprised at his compliance, teased him, "Say no, little man, assert your power!" Shaking her head, she turned to me and said, "this kid's too good. Someday he'll have to rebel."

Last night, as I was putting away a measuring cup, I remembered the gesture he'd made earlier when I'd told him something insultingly obvious about measures. I saw how timidly he's tried to make me stop controlling him.

Is that generosity––he doesn't want to hurt me? Or fear? Or is it the self-imposed gag order that will eventually make him explode?

Whatever that is, I understand that my job now is to stand down and back off. To gag my Ego and Ghosts so they stop making me think I need to control him to keep him safe.

Because controlling another human being is illegitimate, immoral, and inhumane. It's called contempt.

Where in your life has care for another slid into control?

Love,

Carolina