#335 – What role does your guilt play?

Sometimes we feel like "feeling guilty" is what's expected of us. But what's there to gain, if we give in?

This morning, while eating a cashew-cream slathered pancake, my husband startled me with a question: "How much do you make per week?"

After months struggling with inconsistent income, I blushed. I attempted sounding unbothered as I responded, "It depends on how much work there is. This week I'm making around $1,300."

I knew this would sound okay to him. But I wanted to be honest, so I continued, steadying my voice, "But last week there wasn't much work, so I just made $200 something," adding, with a little voice, "Why?"

He shrugged, "Nothing. Just curious."

I quickly finished my double-espresso on ice, loaded the dishwasher, and went to my desk. To work. For money.

The Ghost of Misplaced Guilt showed me still-frames of myself, living my life, writing, meditating, doing morning pages. While he? He sacrificed his comfort and sanity in the bicycle store, fixing bikes, on his feet for 10 hours a day, while Cuban exiles ranted about American politics.

As I sensed the barbed darts the ghost thrust into my throat, I remembered the promise I made last week: "I commit to ending all negative thinking and liberate my creativity."

The thought erased the barbed darts from the still-frames and the ghost went poof! I was free. To live, to create.

Whatever fear or insecurity my husband feels is not my business. He has his process, I have mine. And my guilt won't solve anything.

Feeling guilty so that others see that you're "trying" is futile: guilt won't erase your problems or accelerate your progress. You might as well let it go.

What self-thrusted guilt darts will you erase to free up your creative mind?

Love,

Carolina