#403 – What draws your Ego to authoritarianism?

Your Ego (and mine) love control, certainty, and superiority. Having those things means it owns the resources, which it can give out or hoard. Being in charge, it feels safe.

I was recently made "language lead" at my AI gig. I'd be overseeing the other Spanish and Portuguese editors because, as the researcher put it, I demonstrated impressive attention to detail and an acute linguistic intuition. Both allow me to grasp language subtleties, which is what he needs for this project.

I was happy at first. Then, my Ego freaked out. What if they ask you things you don't know––which are so many? What if they question why you've been given this power of decision?

Since starting this new role, those questions have been pestering me every minute. And my answer was, unsatisfactorily, "well, I have a PhD in Linguistics, right?"

To which my Ego responded: "yeah, specializing in phonetics––not grammar or writing."

Yesterday, something I realized made my Ego relax: I am the "lead," put in charge by the researcher. In other words, I have authority because the boss has given it to me. In other words, "shush!"

Phew, my Ego sighed––all was good as long as my teams accepted my authority.

That made me remember that the Hogan Personality Assessment identifies me as "high adjustment." This means, ironically, that I'm not particularly impressed by authority figures who, in my eyes, have to earn their power for me to accept it.

Ha! So that was what damaged my relationship with my boss at the NYC consulting firm? My not "buying" his authority, sending his Ego on a spin? Feeling that I questioned his authority (I did), he was forced to come face to face with his insecurity on a daily basis.

Because I don't want to be that kind of leader, my goal is to keep my Ego relaxed even if/when someone questions my authority.

To do that, I ask questions. Stay curious. I tell my Ego it's ok to not know, because the reason I'm in this role is my linguistic intuition, not my perfect dominion of Spanish and Portuguese grammar rules.

How do you counter your Ego's authoritarian tendencies?

Love,

Carolina