#285 – The most powerful question to ask yourself: So what?

Questioning your thoughts with "so what?" will help you understand where your emotions come from and how they're trying to protect you, so that you can let them go.

At the communication consulting firm I worked with in New York, we taught financial sales people the "so what" exercise. It was about discovering what the client really wanted by asking "so what" iteratively, until you got to the "benefit," which is what you're supposed to sell.

As an example, I wouldn't tell my prospects that the coffee machines I sell use centrifugal force to brew the coffee––because they'd ask, "so what?"

If I want to sell the benefit, not the feature, I'll say, "this coffee has more body and flavor than the one made by regular machines, because it's made using centrifugal force instead of high-pressure water."

Today, I decided to apply this technique to myself.

I was going to sit down to write when I noticed an I-don't-want-to feeling. Other times, I'd have believed that feeling and just found an excuse not to write. But today, I wrote down "I don't want to write," followed by "so what?"

Fear. I was afraid. Afraid of what?

My Ego was blocking the door, arms crossed like a ripped nightclub bouncer.

So I went layer by layer, asking "so what."

I feared I was wasting time––The Ghost of Time Indifference said, "but you have a lot of time––you don't even have a full-time job!"

So what? I'm so lucky to have time to write!

I feared I wouldn't like what I wrote––The Ghost of Need to Prove was comparing my writing with all bestselling, award-winning memoirs of the last century.

So what? Yes, other writers have written amazing books but this is my book.

I feared I'd disappoint my son––The Ghost of Idea Deflection tried to convince me it'd be better to just sell the story to a real writer.

So what? Okay, "real writers" may be awesome at writing page-turners, but none has lived my experience.

I could have gone on and on, questioning each one of my gazillion "fears."

Until I did the exercise, I believed those fears, which I didn't see for what they really were, and I stayed blocked. Now, I have a tool to question anything that paralyzes me––and believe me, I'll use it a lot!

What fears that might be blocking you will you investigate using the "so what" technique?

Love,

Carolina