#469 – How can you envision your future without "futurizing?"

Manifestation gurus and "infinite potential" experts tell us we need to envision our future if we want it to happen.

But after finding myself engaging in a kind of forward-looking activity that felt more depressing than invigorating, I started to doubt. What was I doing wrong? Was it really worth creating this vision for the future so many successful people swore by?

A couple months ago, I applied for what seemed like my made-in-heaven dream job at a startup in San Francisco. The company I was already working for as a contractor was looking for a PhD in Linguistics, multilingual, if possible, with experience in phonetics and transcription. The description of "me."

I immediately Slacked my contact person in the startup, the researcher who'd promoted me to language lead a couple months before. For the few hours it took him to get back to me, I started seeing my future. I started plotting all possible scenarios: where I'd move. Would I get a room there while my husband and son stayed here? Would we all move? How much would a rental be? And what about the taxes?

Then, Slack pinged: thanks for applying, but they'd just hired so and so who's blah blah blah.

Dream: bust.

Still, my mind started to go there at regular intervals. It might not work out with that person and they'd come running up to me, please, please, save the day for us! I shooed that thought and kept working. Some time later, again: please, please, come help this person, you have so much more experience, she really needs you. Shoo!

Hm, I knew what it was: my mind had created a distraction habit. Somewhere to go when it felt overwhelmed, bored, scared.

I was "futurizing," not envisioning a future.

Today, while considering that our landlord may deny us breaking the lease, I saw the difference between "futurizing" and envisioning the future.

"Futurizing" is based on a fantasy where you aren't in charge of the change you want to see happen.

But when you envision your future, you draw your life's roadmap. You see a future for yourself that is possible, even if it seems far-fetched. A future that doesn't depend on outside factors: not a lottery ticket, not a job opportunity, not someone's benevolence.

You envision the life you want and allow this vision to draw you as a magnet, knowing that it's really up to you to get there.

My landlord may not want to break the lease now, but when it eventually ends, the vision will still be there, waiting for us.

What will change when your vision stops depending on chance and starts depending on you?

Love,

Carolina