#230 – Has "feeling good" become a tyranny?

A few years ago, I met a woman in an online community whose husband had died unexpectedly. She wrote that, when learning the news, she'd dropped to her knees, in disbelief and unfathomable pain.

Then, she said, her brother in law had picked her up from the floor, despite her desire to stay there. She asked herself why some people can't deal with quote-unquote difficult feelings like sadness, anger, or fear (their own or others').

Has the need to feel good become a tyranny? I believe it has, and it's the reason we feel inadequate, even maybe in danger, when we're not happy – or at least, content.

This morning, while making my bed, I sensed a bit of anxiety coming from my solar plexus as I fluffed a pillow. Immediately, my mind started to scramble for answers: why, why, why? And what can I do to stop it?

I posed the pillow on the mattress and asked myself – what if I just accepted that I'm feeling a bit of anxiety?

It worked like a charm. Making peace with feeling the anxiety made it go, poof. By staying open, I didn't need to do anything – just disengage.

But when the whole world is telling us that "feeling good" is the gold standard, it seems difficult to be in any other state that doesn't feel as good.

However, it's only when we're willing to feel all our feelings (the good, the bad, and the ugly), without favoring one kind over another, that we can reach a state of equanimity and contentment, no matter what we feel.

What feelings are you rushing to "fix" instead of simply allowing them to come in, be, and go?

Love,

Carolina