#476 – What changes when you believe you don't need to chase time?

When the Ghost of Time Indifference leads your life, you either run like a mad hatter, feeling late to everything, or let life go by you, oblivious to hours and days.

This morning I was ecstatic to wake up to daylight and see it was only 6:11. That meant that I had time for a run, despite having skipped the alarm and its subsequent grogginess.

As I lapped on the track, I thought about this resistance I'm feeling lately. I refuse to do the practices I know boost my energy and creativity: running, meditation, morning pages. I end up doing them, but begrudgingly and teeth-grindingly. Why, I asked myself?

After breakfast, I dragged my feet to the morning pages and considered the question. To my surprise, the Ghost of Time Indifference appeared on the page, holding a watch with five loose hands spinning erratically on its face.

It made my hand write, "I just want to receive the money and spend my days wasting time."

Then I wrote, "Aha!" There was the truth: I had been haunted by the GoTI, posturing as resistance. On the page, I also asked how I could stand up to this infinity bully, to prove it wrong, but nothing came to me.

The solution, I now see, is simple: track time. I don't need to chase it, I just need to account for it. Note the time I start any activity and the time I finish. No need to judge, assess, or moralize.

Then I'll see that time is on my side, that I don't need to capture it and that it's not in charge of my life.

What will you achieve when you stop making time your master?

Love,

Carolina