#336 – What do you magically think you can control?

Online marketing gurus, manifestation influencers and abundance-mindset coaches make us think that whatever you want, you can have––a fancy house, your dream business, thinner thighs, or freedom to travel anywhere, whenever.

I'm not saying it's not possible. But a misguided focus will lead to unhappiness, despair, and, eventually giving up.

After six weeks of surgery-induced physical inactivity, I realized with horror that fat had accumulated in my legs and belly.

The Ghost of Need to Prove showed up behind my head in the mirror. "See? I told you this would happen," it said raising its eyebrows.

The Ghost of Exertion/Exhaustion appeared, urging "c'mon, c'mon, get moving."

I went to the gym, ate less, drank more water. But the next day, my body hadn't changed.

Sprawling on the couch, the Ghost of Idea Deflection filed its nails while the Ghost of Not Following Up ate Nutella with a spoon. They shook their heads, intoning, "why bother?"

Focusing on the outcome, which I can't control, was making me assess my progress by gauging the completion of the result I wanted.

But that's the wrong focus. To assess my progress, I need to control my input: am I exercising daily? Drinking more water? Eating only when I'm hungry?

Asked about how he became such an effective writer, Jerry Seinfeld explained he committed to writing one joke every day. He hung a year-at-a-glance calendar in his office, and each day he wrote one joke, he'd mark the calendar.

Seeing the little squares fill up with checkmarks (i.e., focusing on his input) is how he gauged progress––not by how many laughs he'd get.

What desired outcome will you take out of focus to keep progressing towards your goal?

Love,

Carolina