#324 – How does judging diminish your joy?

It's easy to think that judging others harms them. It doesn't. It only harms us.

This morning, riding my bike back from the gym in my calm South Beach neighborhood, I saw an orange Ford Edge approaching the stop sign a block from me. Instead of making a full stop, the car accelerated as it turned the corner, causing the tires to screech. As it sped up to the next crossing, the engine roared.

Noticing a mental tsk-tsk, head shaking no, I whispered, "how distasteful!"

Interrupted by my commitment to staying always joyful, I asked myself: "is this what that looks like?"

It wasn't. The slight irritation had in fact diminished the joy I was feeling up to then, after running and lifting weights at the gym, and now riding my bike across the silent seagrape tree-lined streets.

How could I revert that? As a young man on a slick black bike rode by me and I noticed the copper-color rims, I thought, "how beautiful."

But then it hit me. It's not about finding things 'beautiful' or 'nice' either. It's just about noticing things without judging them.

Just a bike. Just a car. Just a street.

Because when I judge, I claim the position of the victim, attributing to what I judge power over me: if the judgement is negative, I feel attacked; if it's positive, I feel rewarded.

But if I want to be always joyful, I need to take responsibility for my feelings and know that I am the architect of my state of mind.

Then, I take back my power. I free myself from the 'tyranny' of the outside world manipulating my wellbeing.

What judgment will you drop to free yourself from external influence on your wellbeing?

Love,

Carolina