#509 – What can you do when doors you thought open close?

"All things are lessons God would have me learn."

A Course In Miracles, Lesson 193.

Everything seemed in place for our relocation: my husband's job in hand, a perfectly-located apartment, my son’s college plans.

In the tenant screening phase, though, my son's rental application was denied.

When the notice came in, what the Judge said in court before my son signed the guilty plea came back: “you’ll have difficulty renting an apartment." The same words the lead prosecutor had told the victim, in the hallway, trying to convince him that releasing my son from jail was a "good deal" (i.e., very punishing).

"Now what?" we thought. 

Each of us had a response: I scrambled for a solution; my husband said, "let's just not move"; and my son's eyes opened wide.

This morning, I asked: “If everything's a message, a lesson, or a blessing, how can I see this so that I get what it is?”

Yesterday, as my son kept his optimism, I spilled my frustration that he's not being proactive enough. 

Today, I realize that's precisely my lesson. This is not my problem––my rental application was accepted.

It's his problem; he's the one who needs to work it out. I'm not being cynical. The truth is I need to stop solving problems that aren't mine.

My son's action brought consequences I can't erase. Whatever his path forward, he's the one who needs to find it. My scrambling to solve things for him just blocks his growth.

I've also wanted to protect my husband from upset, as though I assumed he couldn't handle it.

Both reveal a "sin" I’d already discovered: I haven't been holding them naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. 

My lesson is clear: every person is able to handle their stuff. Taking care of my stuff is my only job.

What problems are you solving that aren't yours?

Love,

Carolina