#215 – What do you still need to forgive yourself for?

The day after filing my taxes, I was lathering my hair in the shower, when thoughts about my lackluster numbers of the past five years crossed my mind.

Where had I gone wrong? What bad decisions had I made? What was I thinking when I "invested" all that money in my business? Why was life so difficult?

That last thought made me open my eyes – which I immediately closed, lest a drop of shampoo get inside.

Thinking all those things was my Ego assigning blame. To me, of course. Someone needed to be the culprit of life's difficulty – and it had to be me, who else, right?

Wrong!

Life just is. Decisions just are. Numbers are numbers and don't tell stories about me or my competence or my worth as a person.

What if I returned to okay? What would that look like?

Then, my business "failure" would carry a lesson, a message, and a gift.

The lesson? Coaching was never what I was put in this life to do – even though I enjoyed it and found it deeply rewarding.

I knew that from the beginning, but I was trying to get away with it. I wrongly assumed that a coaching business was easier than a writing business or than trying to make a living with my writing.

The message? If it feels like a struggle, it's a struggle – let it go.

I'd fallen into the trap of the no-pain-no-gain culture and assumed it was normal to find life as a business owner difficult.

The gift? The absolute certainty that I am a writer.

Now I know it's my duty to accept my gift and write.

So, in reality, I don't need to forgive any of my decisions, because they all put me on the path I needed to take.

What I need to forgive is how I judged myself and my decisions. And I'm okay with that.

What will you forgive yourself for?

Love,

Carolina