#331 – What's the surest, shortest way to lose your power?

It feels righteous to feel "wronged!" Someone owes you––an apology, restitution, compensation. You've won, right?

Wrong. You've only won the victim's seat, which is a disempowered position. If you're a victim, then someone has exerted their power over you.

This morning, noticing a ceiling leak, I felt "wronged" by my landlord.

I texted him a video of the water falling in the hallway. He advised me to place a big bucket beneath until the roofer could fix it, once the rain was over.

A litany started inside: how can he be so cheap? This apartment's falling apart, and why do I have to suffer through this? I pay the rent religiously and this is what I get?

My teeth clenched and forehead frowned, plotting: revenge––I wanted justice! Could I get compensated through the renter's insurance? Sue the landlord?

A separate voice stopped the chatter: "are you claiming the victim's place?"

Shoot––yes! I asked, how do I stop? The response: just open.

Just open? What does that even mean? I saw myself opening and new thoughts appeared: things happen. Unexpected. Who could know? Who's responsible for the rain?

It could be comforting to go down the rabbit hole of "this cheap landlord always chooses the cheapest contractors," etcetera. But where would that lead me, if not to dig my victim's hole even deeper?

I made a decision: to stop being bothered by the bucket in the hallway and the tack-tack-tack of the water drops. To accept that rain is heavy in South Florida. That roofs get damaged. There's a hole in my ceiling and a bucket in my hallway.

I got back in charge of myself.

What justice feelings will you forgo to get back in charge?

Love,

Carolina