#386 – Who are you: true to yourself or stuck in the past?

"This is who I am"/"this is not who I am" sound like powerful, poetic statements. But what do they mean and how do they stunt your growth?

In early 2023, confused by perimenopause advice from podcasts and influencers, I'd stopped running and started lifting weights. I tried everything I heard: creatine! More protein! Sprints! Calisthenics!

I gained so much weight my clothes didn't fit. Plus, I couldn't sleep.

One day, on a video-call with friends, I was whining about my predicament when one said, "no wonder you feel bad: running is who you are!"

I was surprised: no, running is not who I am. I am someone who loves running.

If I cling to "running is who I am" and for some reason I can't run, then, what? Permanent unfulfillment because I can no longer embody my supposed "identity?"

That's what the Ghost of Clinging to Useless Possessions wants you to believe. Like when, at 19, someone stole your adored denim jacket that was the right old and ragged and fit you like a glove, and you became listless because what now?, the GoCtUP wants you to believe that, without your quote-unquote identity, you're nothing.

That blocks change. How can you continue growing when you cling to "this is who I am?" And, when do you declare it? At 19? 53? 71?

When you cling to an identity, you're committing to the past, because the moment you declare, "here!," it immediately becomes "the past."

But if you stay open to "this is who I could become," you tell your brain it can keep learning, developing skills, passions, trying on new identities.

Because your true self doesn't weigh, run or wear clothes. So there's nothing it needs to cling to.

Who can you become, when you stop clinging to who you are now?

Love,

Carolina