#475 – How does your world contract when you need to be right?

"Being right" is a small place that fits exactly one person: you. Because whatever you're right about, someone else is right about too––in their own way.

During my training to become a certified coach in the Organizational & Relationship Systems Coaching modality, I heard Marita Fridjhon, one co-founder, ask the question, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be in relationship?"

It instantly felt so obvious and yet it'd never occurred to me: when you're 100% right, your certainty occupies your whole being, leaving no space for anything or anyone else.

The goal of the question is to help break the impasse couples often fall into when they're both sure that they're 100% right (which of course means the other is 100% wrong). Each in their little corner, arms folded, nose to the ceiling, tight lips. How do you get out?

When I only wore black, I believed I was 100% right, not seeing how much my world shrank around it––only a couple of racks to choose from at the boutique. My relationship to the world was partial, restricted.

Restricting was I related to food, music, art. People. Few options to choose from, the result of my very strong (rigid) preference system. My "values."

Maybe the day I got that pale pink shirt with the sparkly heart on it was the day I opened myself to the world, to the possibility of newness. To more.

What would open up for you if you dropped the need to be right?

Love,

Carolina