#380 – What do you mean when you complain, "it's not fair?"

When life gives you lemons, let's be honest, you feel mistreated. At least I do––why me? why now? etcetera.

It's the "Unfairness Trap." The culprit? Your Ego.

In the Unfairness Trap, you feel universally wronged, offended, attacked. You're a victim, and the only solution is anger, followed by revenge fantasies, and lack of forgiveness––all deadly poisonous for you.

Yesterday, after some back-and-forth with my son's attorneys, I had that "it's unfair!" feeling. I couldn't tell my husband, engaged in an endless phone conversation with his brother in Spain.

I sensed a despondent Godzilla growing inside. Instead of tail-sweeping the coffee cups off the tables at the café (because, you know, spirituality), I slammed my phone and reading glasses on the table. My inner Godzilla stomped its clawed foot, folding its tiny arms and pursing its scaly lips.

Once my husband hung up, we started walking home, and I told him.

The moment I said, "It's so unfair!," I saw what was behind Godzilla's actions and intentions. "But that's just my Ego," I said. "Every time the word 'unfair' shows up, I know it's the Ego speaking. So, I guess let's just move on?"

He agreed, adding, "We know what the truth is, and that's what matters."

True! My Ego was concerned with reputation.

Nevertheless, I spent the whole day plotting a "let's see who laughs last" strategy. Which, every time I caught myself doing, I reverted to, "Thank you." If everything in life is a guide, then even what I deem "unfair" must be met with thanks. That's what I'm working on.

What "unfair" aspect will you become grateful for so that you disempower your Ego a little bit more?

Love,

Carolina