#56 – What I learned receiving my first tip at 54

Today, a buyer tipped me $20.

Not having worked in a tipping environment before, her gesture caught me by surprise.

A few weeks before, another woman had tried to give me a tip, but I'd refused to accept it.

Afterwards, recounting the episode to my husband, I realized that my not accepting the tip might have hurt the woman, or embarrassed her.

As I wrote in a previous post, there is generosity in receiving.

This knowing came to me when I acknowledged that, by always trying to be so self-sufficient, I was in fact being stingy.

Giving in itself is a gift. By refusing to accept what others wanted to give me, I was withholding my gratitude, thus robbing them of the gift of giving.

As I walked back to my area, the $20 bill neatly folded in my pocket, I noticed that the Ghost of Need to Prove was inside of me. It wanted me to prove everyone that I didn't expect that tip.

That if I'd helped the customer it was out of the goodness of my heart, and not because I had any monetary motive. That I was naive about tips and didn't even think a tip could be the result of my effort–because I'm such a generous, selfless person.

Today I've learned that while I felt rewarded by helping the customer with her shopping, if I wanted to be truly generous, I had to give her the opportunity to give me a gift, and accept it with grace.

So I did.

What gifts have you learned to accept?

Love,

Carolina