#97 – What interferes with your internal GPS?

On Monday, a friend who cares about making sure I’m compensated for my work offered to pay me for certain tasks.

He had everything worked out: the payment structure made sense, and the tasks were clear and easy.

Listening to him, I felt my body lose strength, like a deflating air puppet. A clear voice rose from my solar plexus, and I interrupted.

"I really appreciate your effort to compensate me," I said, "but I don’t think I’ll enjoy that work. I’d rather not do it, because I know it would drain me."

In the past, I would have felt, 1) embarrassed to decline such a generous offer, and 2) crazy to say no – who says no to easy money?

I’d have accepted and then prayed that the need didn’t arise to actually do those tasks. And if it did, I’d drag my feet and complete them out of obligation – he'd been so generous after all...

But this time was different. In a split second, the last 10 months flashed before my eyes, and I knew that saying yes would undo all the progress I’ve made.

A voice inside whispered, "You’ve come so far." I saw myself writing this email (the 97th issue today), all the transcendental meditation sittings since last October 14, and all my conversations with others on similar self-searching journeys. All the things I once thought I needed to want, that I said no to once I recognized it was only my Ego that wanted them.

I know my decision may seem 'wrong' to someone on the outside. But it's right because it feels resonant—like clapping your hands under one of those low bridges in Central Park, where the sound expands and echoes back from every direction. It fills me with aliveness and makes me feel whole.

And that's what your internal GPS will do for you if you just pay attention to its signals. They are clear, if you drop into your body and just listen. But you might be more used to the sound of your Ego's voice.

What new paths might you discover when you start following your inner compass?

Love,

Carolina