Hi ,

I just updated the site with some extra advice, I have copy and pasted it below for you and I hope you find it helpful:

Surround Yourself with the Right People

While on the surface it makes sense to find people going through the same situation as you and to talk to people who can relate to how you feel, one thing that you need to do more than anything is separate yourself from self reflection and collective misery. If you found this guide, I am willing to bet you were probably looking on a forum or googling anxiety recovery stories. While I am glad you found me, I worry that you have probably also found negative stories and communities of people who have spent years in anxious loops.

Without getting into the science behind the bias towards negative information and the power of emotional contagion, just know that how you spend your time and who you spend your time with will directly impact your mental health and recovery. I fell victim to these rabbit holes myself, scrolled through niche subreddits about rare diseases and psychological issues. I felt hopeless, but I also felt like I found people similar to me. While it is great to talk to like minded people, recovering from anxiety is better and you will never recover if you spend your time talking about anxiety.

The good news however is that while negative emotions are contagious, so too are positive ones. One of the reasons you have felt anxiety to such an intense degree is because you have a gift for hyperfixation and obsession. You currently obsess about how you feel, how hard things are and all your symptoms, but what if I told you that this hyperfixation could also help you get better?

After you get out of the acute phase of anxiety one of two things tend to happen: either you relapse immediately, or you stagnate before making improvement jumps over the next few months. One thing that I have found extremely powerful for myself and clients is to use your burgeoning recovery as a springboard into positive life changes and one way to channel your nervous energy is to open yourself to new experiences.

Post anxiety I started a business which I later sold, but through that experience I was forced to create a new circle of connections and broaden my horizons. By starting something new I was given the opportunity to surround myself with new people who were outside of my established circle and I found it liberating as I was in complete control of who I worked with and when, which allowed me to cultivate a positive environment rather than leaning back on my old toxic friendships and negative interactions.

It doesn’t need to be starting a whole new career, you could get similar benefits from joining a new club or fitness class, essentially you need to find people who are happy and surround yourself with positivity because it is contagious. This doesn’t mean you need to find people you don’t relate to, trust me when I say you can find people with similar interests who are more positive and likely to build you up rather than engulf you in their negativity.

Remember you cannot be a support person for a friend or a loved one with a mental health issue while you also have a mental health issue. You will never get better unless you focus on your own needs above all else. When you are fully in recovery you will be able to give back to others, but until then your only focus needs to be on you.

Thanks for reading!