Carolyn Birrell Takes an Honest Look at How Dementia Changed Her Relationship with her Mom in "Walking With Fay"

Dec 14, 2022 12:31 am

Hello ,

As I write this, I'm preparing to visit my daughter overseas for Christmas. We did not put up a tree this year (or last for the same reason), nor did we set out our decorations, which have been collected and displayed for decades. We bought no gifts as there's no way to easily transport them more than 5,000 miles, and, frankly, we don't want the hassle (lesson: choose less stress). We'll shop after we get there.

But for those who celebrate Christmas, gifts, trees, and decorations are not what the holidays are all about, are they? In my humble opinion, the holidays are for spending time with loved ones, creating new memories, and looking back on old. That's what I've learned in six decades. That's why I choose to focus on "the reason for the season" and do my best to make the holidays special for my loved ones without wearing myself out with stress, strain, worry, and/or anxiety.

For those of us unable to celebrate with family, or for those who don’t celebrate these holidays, this time of year is an excellent time to reflect on the past while dreaming of the future.

Another fact of life: tomorrow always comes. Our purpose is to make the best of it, for ourselves and for others.

Cheers to all of you this Christmas season!

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Our Latest Author

Carolyn Birrell has written a beautiful book about her years of caring for her mom during their dementia journey. She touches on so many concerns caregivers face: taking over your parents' lives when you've been raised to be the obedient daughter; sibling issues; long-distance caregiving; multiple Mom moves; finding support; and, of course, COVID. And so much more. Her honesty in exposing her deep-seated emotions will resonate with caregivers looking for validation as they navigate through their own often undesirable feelings.

Carolyn writes:

How many times do I wish now that I could go back? What would I give to change that one regretful interaction (or three) I had with my mother? Those times when I was so busy being taskmaster and savior-from-small-catastrophes that I forgot to laugh? Or when I acted loving but felt anything but that? It was only when I truly saw my mother for the frightened, confused person she was, that I was filled with genuine love, and it’s those memories I cling to now.

Read the rest of her AlzAuthors post:

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Please retweet our announcement of Carolyn’s post:

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Our Most Recent Podcast

The Management Team shares their personal caregiving stories and why they chose to share them in their books in this replay of a virtual event with Kensington Senior Living. We also talk about the value of storytelling in caregiving, and the many resources in our collection to support your journey.

Listen to podcast

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Tips on Managing Family Conflict for the Holidays and Everyday

The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, but can be particularly daunting for caregivers. The added obligations and commitments, plus the shopping, wrapping, cooking and baking, can be more than we can handle on top of all of our other duties. And then there are the difficulties caused by family conflict, old resentments, drama, and more. In this video series, Kimberly Best, RN, MA shares her knowledge and expertise in conflict management to help you enjoy the best holiday you can envision. Kimberly is the author of How to Live Forever, A Guide to Writing the Final Chapter of Your Life Story.

Watch on YouTube

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New Products in Time for the Holidays!

May your days be merry and bright with this great tumbler.

Comes in two sizes and two shades of purple!

Visit AlzAuthors Creations for more custom items.

A portion of all proceeds supports AlzAuthors and our ongoing efforts

to offer Alzheimer's and dementia resources to caregivers.

Learn More Here!

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Save the Date!

Marianne will be interviewed on Dementia Carers Count, a Facebook Live show for caregivers from the UK. She’ll talk about the value of storytelling in caregiving, AlzAuthors, and more. Join her on Thursday, December 29 at 1:30 pm GMT, or 8:30 am EST.

Join Here!

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Caregiver Writing Workshop for 2023

Here's a writing workshop for caregivers from Annette J. Wick, author of I'll Have Some of Yours and Pauletta Hansel, author of Palindrome, poems about her mother's journey through dementia. Annette and Pauletta lead online creative writing experiences designed to help family caregivers, past or present, explore the gifts and challenges of their lives through poetry, storytelling, and journaling. In this workshop, participants write to reflect on their own journey, and to share as much or as little writing in a supportive and safe circle of other caregivers. No previous writing experience is necessary. A Zoom link will be sent to all registered participants prior to class date. Four sessions throughout 2023. Free.

Get More Info

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Tell Us Your Story!

We are so grateful to those who have submitted their dementia stories to our six-word project. If we plan to create a book, we need more of these amazing tidbits of information, insight, and inspiration.

Here’s how to share your six words on what I wish I knew about Alzheimer's or dementia that I didn't find out until later:

1. Go to this link https://app.sixwordmemoirs.com/

where you’ll be prompted to login with a name/password/email.

2. Then go to Join Topics and use this code: b9xeuc4g

or visit https://app.sixwordmemoirs.com/topic/b9xeuc4g/s

3. Share one or as many six-word stories as you like!

You can also use these links to read all the stories submitted thus far.

We can't wait to read your stories!

To learn more about this project:

Listen to this All Home Care Matters podcast with co-founder and manager Marianne Sciucco. Thanks, Lance, for always believing in us.

Watch on YouTube

Read this lovely article by Miriam Green describing this project. Thanks, Miriam, for your support, and for the effort and energy expended in boosting this project.

Start Reading!

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Looking for stocking stuffers?

How about one of our mugs? Pair it with a book from our bookstore for the perfect holiday gift.

Start Shopping!

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How to Support our Mission

Our mission is to provide quality resources for those concerned with Alzheimer’s and dementia. Please help by connecting with us in at least one new way this week:

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