Sex Positive You: Issue 40

Hey, amazing humans! Welcome to the 40th edition of my newsletter!

It's been a busy month (again). I started March off at Eros Retreat Center in Costa Rica doing a 10-day Sex Doula Intensive with Goddess Amina and some fabulous new and old friends. The day after getting home, my parents, little sister, two aunts, and an uncle arrived in Mexico (where I am). Two days later, my friend and her boyfriend arrived. Two days after that, Alfredo and I celebrated our wedding with an exchange of vows and a beautiful party with all those who couldn't make it to the NYC wedding. In about a week, we leave for our honeymoon. 💕

All-in-all, it's been absolutely incredible - joyful, loving, connected. And it's also been a lot.

People who know me are often surprised by the many things I do but I sometimes feel like I'm not doing enough. Especially now that I am no longer employed by anyone other than myself and I haven't been working on my business (beyond seeing current clients - I just released a new offer but limited only to clients) to make room for me to concentrate on my dissertation. Yet, in these past two months I've completed two certifications, almost completed my requirements for a third, started (and will soon finish) writing a book chapter for a super cool sex education book, traveled multiple times, worked on non-dissertation-related research, spoken at events and conferences, hosted family and friends and participated in family events, and had a whole other wedding. It's made routine hard to attain - which sucks as a lack of routine destabilizes my neurodivergent brain.

While at the sex doula training, Amina had us work on declarations and I originally stated I was "in commitment to intentional pleasure." As I watched Amina coach a friend into a statement that hit home for her, I knew that I was hiding in my pleasure statement. Through tears, I named that what I really wanted was to be "a commitment to ease and routine" but that felt out of reach with my current life and therefore scary to say because it was doomed to fail.

But being hard doesn't negate that doing and being less is what I need.

Getting my dissertation (and related blogs, talks, website, social, etc.) out into the world supports my life goal of increasing the visibility and accessibility of Latine sexuality and pleasure research and resources. That's a huge part of my why - we deserve more access, connection, community, and understanding. Amina pointed out that by letting myself be distracted by other things, I'm in my own way.

So, you are a witness. I am a commitment to less: do less, be less. This is for the sake of routine, stability, and forward movement in my purpose. I am recommitting to completing my dissertation and limiting distractions.

Recently these newsletters have felt grounding BUT if you don't see a newsletter in your inbox next month, my commitment might be why.

What are you in commitment to? What do you need to center or prioritize in your life?

Un abrazo,

Yael

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Two New Blogs!

Sticking to My Values and Possibly Burning Academic Bridges

I have a bit of a reputation for sticking to my values (one I am super proud to have), sometimes at the expense of actually getting the things I want because I jump too soon.

Read More

What Pre-Historic Women Hunters Teach Us About Gender Bias in Science

Last year offered numerous examples of discoveries and disproving of myths that have been perpetuated by gender bias and have long impacted scientific narratives with real-life impacts that could have been avoided through self-reflective methods.

Read More

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Check me out in this new podcast episode by Loving without Boundaries: Episode #240 where we talk about:

• Exploring Fluid Relationships & sexual Identities
• neurodivergence and its impact on relationships
• working with clients on establishing consent and boundaries.
• activities for self-exploration and erotic touch practices

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I would love to talk to you (or someone you know) about what's been troubling you about your body, your identities, your desires (or lack thereof), and your communication (or lack thereof!) with your partner(s) or others in your life. Please share with anyone you think might benefit!

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