The last 18 months have been far from what I envisioned. I ran into 2023 with a heart full of desire to grow, expand, serve, and create maximum impact. 

I dove into a business mastermind with the intent of expanding myself and my work. It wasn’t just to generate more income for my family, but to be able to reach more people. I have always had a big heart of service and have led my business that way, and wanted to expand on my magic and reach. 

Shortly after making the commitment, signing the contract, and waiting for my start date.. I found out we were pregnant after trying for two years to conceive. 

I still remember the sobbing when I read the pregnancy test knowing it was going to be positive but still shocked it finally happened. 

I remember the shock that rippled through my husband when I told him. 

I remember being so excited. 

The next 18 months tho.. not at all what I imagined them to be. 

From the moment I became pregnant I was sicker than I have ever been. To the point of being wrapped around the toilet 80% of my pregnancy. In the brief relief I had from the morning sickness, the pelvic pain and sciatica about did me in. 

I worked very little, and my husband had to pick up the massive bits that I was dropping. 

I felt like everything was flying out and nothing was coming in. 

The 6 month container I signed for. I wasn’t able to get anything out of because I was so sick, and in the time I felt like I was hitting rock bottom and drowning — zero grace was given to me in this commitment. 

And as someone of my word I continued to pay what I committed to. 

Every ounce of financial safety that I had spent years creating and working for — gone. In a blink of an eye. 

The business that I poured into for years naturally had to be put on the back burner as I tried to survive. 

All while the people I loved most began dropping like flies out of my life. 

I have come to realize one of the hardest spaces I have had to navigate is the grief of friendships changing. They are as intimate and important as my relationship with my husband, however when they fall apart it’s not typically a thing with closure. So you are left trying to make reason for something, when the pieces no longer fit. You love them so deeply and recognize that you have to learn how to let go of something you don’t want to let go of. 

I am literally sobbing as I write this because there are no words just really big grief around it. 

I have spent more days asking the universe “why me?!” Than I haven’t. 

When Sol came early and spent time in the NICU it felt like another daily blow. To be followed with 7 more months of postpartum rage, anxiety, and depression. 

I just felt like I had not only lost everything, but here I had this beautiful boy that I could look at and feel like the connection wasn’t there. 

If you have had ppd / PPA you understand. 

But on top of that the colick.. hours of blood curdling cries. 

I just felt so much shame, guilt, grief, and rage. 

I felt like I was boiling from the inside out. 

—

In the last 6 weeks I have experience a major shift. 

While we are drowning in hospital debt, and we are still facing the heart procedure Sol gets in a couple weeks. 

My heart is so unbelievably full. 

I am currently laying in bed with Sol as he contact naps, and I could burst from so much love. 

Out of nowhere a few weeks ago - the connection was there. 

I realized .. hey maybe I’m not crazy and just sleep deprived, navigating what safety means, and learning how to juggle life in a new way. 

AND 

I will look back on these past two years and know that iron is forged by fire, that sometimes life has a way of completely falling apart to fall together. 

My spiritual gifts have rapidly expanded, the sessions I have with clients are blowing me the fk away, I am hosting my first BIG somatic experience in September alongside the best humans I know, and even on the days that I find myself burning the candle at both ends yelling “god universe, you’re being awfully fucking generous today” in the most sarcastic and bitter way.. I know that I am highly supported. 

I know that I am meant for more. 

I know that there are people who will find freedom through my work.

I know that these somatic experience hold the power to change everything for those that say yes. 

I know that this is all sharpening my ability to lead, to be cracked OPEN, to love hard, to be able to lean deeper into vulnerability, and to be more grateful than ever for the moments of stillness.

You know those days where it feels like you just are stuck. That things aren't moving in the direction you want, as quickly as you want, and everything seems to be moving against you?

Sometimes those days turn into weeks.. months.. years.. and you just feel like you have peaked.. I am here to tell you that you haven't.

That E V E R Y T H I N G you are experiencing is for a reason!

We often meet resistance to see just how committed we are to our dreams, the path we are on, and what we are creating! That resistance can come as a message of "hey you are on the wrong path" or "how bad do you really want this?"

Its truly a freaking gift even when it feels far from that in the moment.

If you are craving more from life whether that be romatically, physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially... I SEE YOU & I am personally inviting you to our September (2 DAY) Somatic Retreat Experience!!!!

I have pulled together the most incredible facilitators for this event to help you unlock whats holding you back from the next level version of you, to anchor into your true essence, to tap into your spiritual gifts and awareness, and to create space for you to expand beyond what you have currently created!

It is truly going to be freaking MAGIC!

If you are ready to leap you can join here! Make sure to use WHITNEY in the coupon code part so that you save 10%! Note that it will take you to my scheduling site when you click buy ticket to fill out your registration and reserve your spot!

If you need a payment plan just respond to this email and we will make it happen!

XO

Whitney Jean Buck | The Body Alchemist