December shows up with a smile that feels a little too bright and a to-do list that feels a little too long. There’s glitter everywhere, but somehow you’re expected to hold everything together without letting anyone see you sweat. It’s the perfect backdrop to talk about the Good Girl Rules we were raised on, because this is the time of year they show their teeth.

Those rules are old. Older than most of the traditions we’re all about to celebrate. Be agreeable. Be generous. Be grateful even when you’re exhausted. Make sure everyone else is comfortable, even if it costs you your peace. And whatever you do, keep it pleasant.

The truth is those rules weren’t written with your success in mind. They were created to make the world more comfortable for other people. Historically that meant men, husbands, bosses. Married men still get promoted faster and earn more, and it’s not because they’re superhuman. It’s because there’s a woman or partner at home picking up the slack. Emotional labor, domestic labor, social planning, mental load. All the invisible scaffolding that lets them look effortlessly productive.

And those old rules don’t stop with gender. Body size, race, sexual orientation, identity, disability. Anyone who doesn’t fit the preferred mold gets pushed into the same corner. Be smaller. Be grateful. Don’t expect too much. Don’t ask for the same opportunities the “acceptable” people get handed without asking.

If you’ve been passed over for something like being plus-sized, you know the sting. If you’ve ever been the most qualified person in the room but still not the one chosen, you’ve met the Good Girl Rules up close. They expect you to accept less because the world taught you to be thankful for whatever scraps you’re offered.

And if you’re running a business, these rules don’t magically disappear. They sneak into your pricing, your emails, your late-night workload, your fear of setting boundaries. Before long, you realize you’re recreating the same dynamics you left behind. The same machine that wants you small. Except you've built the machine yourself this time.

But here’s the shift that’s been happening quietly for a while now. People are finally questioning the rules. Not just women. Anyone who’s done the invisible work while watching others reap the rewards. Anyone who has been told their value comes from how well they manage everyone else’s emotions. Anyone who’s tired of carrying the heavy end of the bargain without acknowledgment.

You’re not obligated to keep performing politeness at the cost of your well-being. You’re not required to shrink yourself so someone else can expand.

You’re allowed to rewrite the script.

You get to decide how you move through this season. You get to claim space. You get to stop apologizing for needing rest. You get to stop saying yes when your whole body wants to say no.

And since December is notorious for taking more than it gives, I've got a little holiday gift for you.

Your Holiday Wallpaper Gift

The 12 Days of Slightly Unhinged Christmas Tarot Wallpapers are ready for you. You get 24 wallpapers. 12 that include the card description made for desktops, laptops and Zoom backgrounds and 12 without the description made to fit your phone.

They were created for anyone who has ever felt both festive and frazzled at the exact same time. Anyone who loves the holidays but also feels a tiny bit on the edge while trying to make it all happen. Anyone who is doing their best in a season that often expects too much.

Download your holiday wallpapers here

Taking care of yourself counts as a holiday tradition too,

Decoding the Shift

Why the Holidays Feel… Slightly Unhinged (And Why You’re Not the Problem)

The “slightly unhinged” vibe of the wallpapers wasn’t an accident. December is famous for sparkle, but beneath the lights is a steady hum of pressure that lands heaviest on the same people every year. The emotional load. The planning. The remembering. The smiling. The smoothing over. The trying to conjure magic while running on fumes.

It’s a lot. And most of us pretend it’s fine until one more ornament falls off the tree and suddenly we’re questioning all our life choices.

This week’s shift is giving yourself permission to experience December honestly.

If that means leaning into coziness, beautiful.

If it means embracing the slightly-chaotic-gremlin energy of a tarot card in a Santa hat, that works too.

The holidays don’t need you to perform perfection. They need you to be human. These wallpapers are little reminders that it’s okay if your season looks different than the commercials. It’s okay if the joy comes with a side of overwhelm. It’s okay if your version of festive has a raised eyebrow and a sarcastic remark.

You don’t have to hold it all together. You just get to show up as yourself.

A Little Nudge to Share

If this week’s Shift Notes helped you feel a little more grounded in the December chaos, you’re welcome to pass it along to a friend, family member, or coworker who could use the same breath of relief. Anyone who signs up before December 26 will get the Slightly Unhinged Christmas Tarot Wallpapers too, so they won’t miss out on the fun.

Here’s the sign-up link to share:

https://sendfox.com/tmariehilton