Should You Suppress or Express Negative Emotions?

Recently, I've heard a lot about the harm that comes from suppressing negative emotions. Experts like Gabor Maté, Daniel Siegel, and Richard Schwartz emphasize that unprocessed emotions can linger in our minds and bodies, shaping our perceptions and behaviors for a lifetime. For instance, unresolved feelings can leave us triggered by certain situations, leading to unnecessary frustration or stress. Research also supports how past traumas can significantly affect our physical health.*

You might wonder how this aligns with Positive Psychology, which encourages focusing on the good in life. A key distinction is that suppressing emotions is not the same as shifting our perspective.

Instead of avoiding negative emotions, we can acknowledge, accept, and listen to them. What are they trying to tell us? Do they call for action, a conversation, or a shift in how we see things? We can fully experience our emotions and still choose a thoughtful response rather than reacting impulsively.

Take grief as an example. When we lose someone we love, denying our sadness won’t help. By allowing ourselves to feel the grief and asking what it needs, we might realize we need comfort or connection. This could lead us to reach out to a friend, family member, therapist, or support group.

Where might you be avoiding negative emotions in your life? This week, experiment with honoring and listening to your emotions while also managing your thoughts and responses.

*See research on ACE studies and books like The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. 

To browse past positivity tips, visit this page.

Tina Hallis, Ph.D., is a professional speaker and founder of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping individuals and organizations increase their positivity and well-being to improve the quality of people’s lives and the quality of company cultures.