Why Self-Leadership Fails
Sep 28, 2025 6:11 pm
Great leaders master strategy. Extraordinary leaders master themselves.
“Self-leadership” is a hot topic. And it makes sense — the best leaders don’t just manage others, they manage themselves.
But here’s the catch: how strong is our self-leadership if our inner world is in conflict?!?!
Ever felt torn inside — Part of you wants to speak up in a meeting, while another part whispers, “Better stay quiet.” Or maybe a part of you is determined to meet that deadline, while another part says, “I’m exhausted. I need rest.” It’s like trying to steer a car while two people fight over the wheel.
True self-leadership isn’t just about productivity or time management. It’s about cultivating inner harmony so your decisions come from your Best Self — that deeper place of calm, clarity, curiosity, and courage.
A few ways to build this:
- Pause and notice which “part” of you is speaking.
- Get curious, not critical. What’s it trying to protect? What does it want you to know?
- Offer reassurance to your part. “I hear you. I’ve got this.”
- Reconnect to your values: If I led from calm or clarity right now, what would I choose?
What would change in your team if you could lead from your Best Self more often? I believe teams would feel safer, communication would improve, and everything would get easier. Your wisdom, expertise, and strengths would shine through. Now you're not just leading others — you're modeling what it looks like to lead from within.
Where have you noticed your “parts” tugging you in different directions at work? This is my new obsession - bringing "parts work" based on Internal Family Systems (IFS) into the workplace. I'm excited to share my new talk, "Inner Alignment for Outer Impact: The Next Frontier in Transforming Human Dynamics at Work," with several audiences in the next few months, including HR professionals, business leaders, medical residents, municipality leaders, and more.
Watch for more insights on IFS in the workplace in future posts.
