This week, I'm excited to share a guest blog from the amazing Kyira Wackett, a Licensed Mental Health Therapist Specializing in Shame & Anxiety! I met Kyira when I was first starting out in Positive Psychology and have always enjoyed her insights and wisdom. You can learn more about her and her work at AdversityRising.com.

I really appreciated Kyira's short but impactful blog below. I'm a people-pleaser so I don't like to disappoint others. It feels like a direct blow to my self-worth and my identity when I somehow let someone else down. But I can't be everything to everyone, so how do I prioritize? Putting myself first can seem selfish, but, as Kyria so aptly points out, we don't want to lose ourselves in the chase.

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If the Choice is to Disappoint Yourself or Someone Else, Choose Someone Else

I am so grateful for the clarity and acceptance I’ve found in the last year regarding what connection means to me. I’ve let go of the pressures to be what everyone else wants and needs at my own expense.

I am okay with knowing that sometimes these choices mean I have to be okay with letting someone else down, and, that is not my disappointment to hold. I have the right to make the choices in my life that allow me to thrive and to show up fully in all I do. Again, I can’t do and be it all, and I can no longer afford to lose myself in the chase of trying to.

YOUR TURN. ARE THERE EXPECTATIONS AND WANTS YOU HAVE INTERNALIZED FROM OTHERS ABOUT WHO YOU HAVE TO BE AND HOW YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO BE “GOOD”, “MEANINGFUL” OR “WORTHY”?

How is that affecting you in your chase to keep up with them? What can you do to release yourself from them and begin to pivot into creating relationships founded on BOTH what you and others need and be okay if sometimes that means relationships have to change or end?

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To browse past tips, visit ThePositiveEdge.net/blog.

Tina Hallis, Ph.D., Positivity Catalyst, speaker, and founder of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping people and organizations improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures.