Life is a Patchwork Quilt - Choose Your Patches Carefully

One of the most important things I've learned from the past 10 years of studying, applying, and teaching positive psychology is the power of our thoughts and how we can actually get better at managing our thoughts so they make our lives better. And I've learned how our thoughts are highly influenced by what we focus on in the world around us; what we notice and what we ignore.

It reminds me of a patchwork quilt. The quilter sorts through a variety of fabric squares (or patches) and carefully chooses those that fit the design they want to create. They look for color, pattern, texture, etc. They ignore or leave out those squares that don't fit their vision. The goal is to create something they find pleasing or beautiful. 

When I think of my life as a patchwork quilt, I realize I get to decide which "pieces" I bring in to create my life. Do I dwell on those times people have hurt me or caused me stress? Do I remember situations when things went wrong? Or do I choose to shift my thinking to things I'm grateful for? People, pets, situations, and things I feel blessed to have in my life? Do I choose to spend my time on activities that bring me satisfaction and move me towards my goals? Do I spend time with people whom I enjoy?

Do I look for the good in my day? In other people? In the world overall? Or do I let the news and media direct my focus to all that's bad? Do I take time to notice everyday beauty in nature? Do I appreciate the miracles around me? Am I grateful for the love and friendship from others? Or does my survival instinct rule my thoughts, always assuming the worst and looking for problems?

I've learned that I can intentionally choose to focus on aspects of the world around me that help me design the kind of life I want to create; something rewarding and beautiful. What "patches" are you going to add to your quilt of life today?

I also wanted to let you know about a podcast interview I recently did on the Untethering Shame podcast with Kyira Wackett. Our discussion focuses on shame and chronic disease. You can find it on both Spotify and Apple Podcasts platforms. Please share, like, comment, etc. Here are a few of the highlights we discussed.

• The most important data point in our health & well-being
• The reason we resist mental health as a tool for treating & healing chronic pain and disease
• The #1 thing we have to stop being afraid of when we talk about health & healing
• The MIND-BLOWING Bench to Bedside problem
• The cultural norm that is killing us slowly

To browse past positivity tips, visit this page.

Tina Hallis, Ph.D., is a professional speaker and founder of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping individuals and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures.