No, They Can’t Read Your Mind (And That’s OK)

Have you ever caught yourself wishing someone would just know what you need? Maybe you longed for your boss to notice your hard work, hoped your partner would see how tired you were, or wanted a friend to simply listen without jumping in with advice.

The truth is—our family, friends, coworkers, even our boss—aren’t mind readers. And waiting for them to guess often leaves us feeling unseen or disappointed. That’s why one of the most important skills we can practice is asking for what we need.

Why Asking Feels Hard

For many of us, asking doesn’t come easily. Maybe we don’t want to feel like a burden. Maybe we’re afraid of rejection. Or maybe we’ve picked up the belief that “strong” people don’t need help. So instead, we stay quiet and hope others notice.

But silence usually backfires. Instead of getting what we truly need—recognition, support, appreciation—we’re left with unmet needs and growing frustration.

The Power of Asking

When we do find the courage to ask, something powerful happens:

• We give others clarity. They no longer have to guess what will help us.
• We strengthen relationships. Honest requests build trust and understanding.
• We honor ourselves. By voicing our needs, we send a message—to ourselves first—that what we feel matters.

What If It Feels Uncomfortable?

If asking feels uncomfortable, it’s worth pausing to notice what’s underneath. Maybe the need isn’t truly that important right now. Or maybe a part of you—your inner people-pleaser, your self-doubter, your “I should handle this myself” part—needs some attention and care.

Instead of ignoring those voices, try listening with compassion. Then ask yourself again: Is this something worth voicing?

A Gentle Reflection

• Where in your life could you ask for more? Recognition? Appreciation? Help? Or just a listening ear?
• What’s holding you back?
• Is there a part of you that needs reassurance before you can take that step?

Asking is not weakness. It’s courage. It’s connection. It’s a reminder that your needs matter, too.

To browse past positivity tips, visit this page.

Tina Hallis, Ph.D., is a thought-shifter! She is a professional speaker and founder of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping individuals and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures.