How to Stop Old Frustrations from Hijacking Your Mood

The day we brought our daughter home from the hospital was supposed to be one of the most joyful days of our lives. Instead, we walked into a nightmare.

Our basement remodel had been in the works for weeks, and while we were gone, the contractor decided to “get ahead” on the project. Unfortunately, what we found left us stunned. The basement windows had been cut larger—just as we’d requested—but the cuts were jagged, uneven, and the wrong size. Even worse, they had “accidentally” sliced through the sill plate—the very foundation that supports the house.

When we called to express our concern, the contractor brushed it off: “Not a big deal. I’ll just cover it up—you’ll never notice.” My frustration grew into full-on anger as we insisted on fixing it the right way. That’s when he admitted—almost casually—that he and his crew had been hungover when they did the work. And if we wanted it fixed? We’d have to pay extra.

We were furious. We had a brand-new baby at home, sleepless nights ahead, and all I wanted to do was soak up every moment with her. Instead, my energy was being drained by heated phone calls, arguments, and a growing knot of resentment.

That was nearly 11 years ago. But even now, when I see one of their trucks or an ad with their logo, I can feel a surge of irritation wash over me.

And you know what? That’s normal. Our brains are wired to remember situations that hurt or anger us—it’s a survival mechanism designed to keep us safe. But there’s a catch: if we keep replaying these moments, we also keep reliving the emotions that come with them.

The key is to notice when your mind starts looping the old story. Thank your brain for trying to protect you. Then, intentionally shift your focus—remind yourself that the event is over and you get to decide how much space it takes up in your life.

It won’t happen overnight, but with practice, the grip of those old emotions starts to loosen. And in that space? That’s where more peace and positivity can grow.

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Tina Hallis, Ph.D., is a thought-shifter! She is a professional speaker and founder of The Positive Edge, a company dedicated to helping individuals and organizations increase their positivity to improve the quality of people’s work lives and the quality of company cultures.