What is the psychological difference between a successful and unsuccessful person?

Urgency.

To further define these two people, let's say the successful person reaches their goals while the unsuccessful person procrastinates and pushes their goals back repeatedly. This aligns with my favorite definition of success in life, which is doing what you truly want to do and being who you want to be. (It sounds simple, but there are numerous internal and external obstacles to living it out.)

Successful people act as if action is needed now. Unsuccessful people find reasons to delay action indefinitely. It's urgency that drives people to overcome obstacles and refine themselves and their behavior to reach goals.

Urgency is such a cool concept because it creates grit, resilience, determination, aggression, and courage. These are individually valuable traits, but you get the whole package with urgency.

We could get into more details about personality types, habits, environment, and more. But increasing urgency will bring about significant results regardless of the other factors. Because real urgency creates aggressive action. Emergency situations create the most extreme and adrenaline-fueled action because they are the most urgent situations we face.

HOW URGENCY WORKS

If you aren't specific about cultivating urgency, it will happen automatically, but it'll be for things like checking social media or text messages instead of things that can move your life forward right now.

I'm not shaming anyone for using their phone. Rather, this is about capitalizing on your opportunity to pursue things that will make you feel alive.

Let's start here, with how urgency works compared to how people think it works.

When it comes to urgency, desire is the ingredient (or "solution" for you chemistry fans), but time pressure is the catalyst.

This means that we're doing everything wrong, because this is how we think urgency is supposed to work.

1. I want to lose weight and learn piano and see Finland. (conscious desire)

2. Those desires will create a sense of urgency to drive action.

3. It worked! I'm a slender maestro in Helsinki!

But here's what actually happens in practice...

1. I want to lose weight and learn piano and see Finland. (conscious desire)

2. The doorbell just rang. Amazon delivery! I need to figure out what to wear at the concert tomorrow. Oh, maybe I'll wear that cool shirt, but I need to wash it.

3. Jane Doe looked amazing in that dress. Am I even allowed to date coworkers?

4. What snacks are in the fridge? Here's a text from mom.

No matter how important something is to you, it won't automatically convert into something urgent. It needs a time catalyst.

How long do you have to lose weight? How long do you have to learn piano? How long do you have to make any of your missions, values, and goals come to fruition? Technically speaking, you have until you die. And that's why these things naturally lack urgency. You have longer to do them than anything else in your life, such as checking the mail or washing your socks.

Most people try to leverage their desire into urgency, which essentially translates to hoping it happens automatically. It's tough because deep down, you know you can start on any day at any time. Deep down, you know you have plenty of time. We procrastinate because we think we can get away with it.

This issue is further compounded by the fact that big dreams can't be done in a day, or a week, or a month. They generally take years of dedication. So let's analyze this...

1. You have your whole life to do something.
2. It will take a lot of time and effort over months or years.

This is the absolute opposite of what the brain considers urgent. Compare that to a text message—immediately relevant, small, and time-sensitive. That's urgent, even if it's just your friend showing you a meme.

It's easy to see why there are so many people going through the motions instead of chasing what they really, truly desire for their lives.

So what's the answer? It's hidden in the fact below...

When you perceive yourself to have a limited amount of time to do something AND you can do it right now, it becomes urgent.

Perceive is a key word there, because we can actually do whatever we want and suffer the consequences. You can leave your laundry in the dryer for 400 days. You can leave dirty dishes in the sink for 15 days. If I shoot you a text, you can ignore it for 77 years. I might get mad at you for it, but it's your choice. You assign the level of urgency.

So why can't you just decide to give your dreams more urgency? Well, you absolutely can! And while it is easy to do so, it isn't as straightforward and automatic as assigning high urgency to Jane Doe's texts.

To create real urgency for your longer-term aspirations...

1. Convert them into specific actions.

2. Give yourself daily deadlines for those actions.

A giant project cannot be urgent. Urgent things are doable things, and you can't do a giant project immediately. This is why your brain so frequently insta-rejects your dream project in favor of social media. Your dream project is way more important, obviously, but social media is way more urgent and doable. You undoubtedly desire the big project more, but the small amount of desire you have to see what's on social media has a notification catalyst that your big project lacks.

We all realize that life is short and something like becoming the person you want to become can't happen soon enough! It just won't ever seem that way until you convert it to a format your brain understands as urgent. You have to give it a time-based catalyst.

So let's break down the earlier examples and make them urgent.

Visit Finland: First, break it down into actions. Perhaps the first step is to save enough money to afford the trip. You calculate that you need $5000. So you decide to dedicate two hours of your time as a freelance editor on upwork.com every Thursday and Friday. At an hourly rate of $40 per hour, that's 125 hours, or 63 days of two-hour workdays. You would accomplish this feat in 30-40 weeks, or less than a year if it went perfectly. This is an urgent task that activates on Thursdays and Fridays.

Isn't it interesting that your urgency for visiting Finland isn't even related to Finland? It's editing work. Editing is now an urgent manifestation of your Finnish desires!

Understanding this direct connection, you might pick up extra work to reach your target faster (because you've finally activated your desire with a time-based catalyst). As you're grinding, you can smile as you picture visiting the happiest country in the world. Your Finland visit just went from a pipe dream to "probably within a year."

Lose weight: I wrote a book about how to do this called Mini Habits for Weight Loss. A mini habit is urgent because it is small and easy to do. Losing weight is a huge, complex undertaking. Mini Habits for weight loss are individual decisions you make during meals. They're urgent because they happen within the context of a single day.

Learn piano: Break this down into studying music and practicing music. Then break those down into daily or weekly targets, by time, book pages read, or songs practiced. I recommend making all of the above mini habits, which can be completed in a minute or less. This reduces friction and increases urgency.

If you string together enough of these short-term urgent tasks, you'll look back and see that you created urgency for this long-term goal, just not in the way most people visualize it happening.

Desire alone is not enough. Give that desire a time-based catalyst, and you're in a business. That's how you create urgency for any area of your life.

Cheers,

Stephen Guise

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