When I was about 28 years old, I invited one of my family members to be a part of my planning committee for an event I was to hold. He agreed verbally, but his actions showed that he was not interested. Finally, he confirmed my curiosity by asking me: “Tolu, what are you doing with your life?”
He began by reminding me of my age and telling me how he got married at 28. What he was driving at was that I had come of age to get married and start having kids; he was right. That makes a lot of sense; to him and other members of the family, but it was not and still not my duty to make sense to them.
I defined what success meant to me a few years after I graduated from secondary school and getting married and having kids at a particular age that made sense to people were not a part of it. It was my definition of success that made it relatively easy for me to opt-out of the University after I had worked on getting admission for 5 years.
The decision defined my life, but it came with its punishments too, some of which I still suffer and will. But I already made my decision and nothing changes it except I see a need for change. This change, if it will ever come will not be because I have to make sense to people.
The decision to opt-out of the university confirmed to a lot of people, within and without the family that I was going to end up a failure in life; they believed that one has to go to school to be successful, especially in Nigeria. Surely, my decision did not make sense! How can I become a world-class Author and Public Speaker by opting out of the university?
My profile read that I left the university because I did not find the type of education I wanted there. That is ridiculous, isn’t it? However, I have not only become an author; I have spoken to and trained audiences from different parts of the world. That to me is success and it can only get better.
Everyone who thought I was going to fail because I opted out of school had the right to think so. I can sympathize with them and even forgive them for not supporting me, but I will NEVER abandon my choice of education to prove to them that I am successful. If they cannot see my success, I cannot help their blindness and I will not live by it.
It is a shame however that many people cannot live purposefully simply because they want to make sense to people. They live based on society’s expectations of them. They never define their successes.
I recently rebuked a man above 70 years old for constantly asking me when I will get married. I told him never again to ask me such and he obeyed. If what I am doing with my life at the moment does not make sense to him until I get married, then he should wait.
In the society we live in, if you are still single at a certain age, no matter what you have achieved, people will always consider you unsuccessful. To them, your achievements are useless until you are married and start having kids. It is no wonder therefore that a lot of people are desperate to them married when they reach those ages.
Many people are in wrong relationships and hold on to them just to conform to society’s measurement of success by getting married at a certain age. They are desperate to post their wedding photos online, much so that they do not mind ending up with the wrong partner. At that age, nothing else matters to them but marriage. They have no lives!
If you want to fulfill your purpose in life, live and not merely exist, you have to stop living by society’s definitions of success. Define your success! Your duty in life is to do what God has sent you to do, which is the ultimate and the most important of all successes in life, not to make sense to people by living your life based on their faulty opinions.
Doing what God has sent you to do may never make sense to people, especially the closest people to you, such as your parents and family members. I guess this is why Jesus said “I have not come to make peace, but to turn daughters against their mothers and sons against their fathers.” The foregoing statement is significant; ponder over it before passing on!
If you have to do what God sent you to the world to do, you are most likely going to face situations that will induce you to make decisions against your parents and family members’ opinions and what they want you to do. You have to be ready!
The question to ask is: how do I know what God sent me to the world to do? The answer to this is within you; you have to discover it, it is not what anyone has to tell you. It comes through SELF-DISCOVERY AND DEVELOPMENT.
If you want a course in this, you have to consider the Science of Self-discovery and Development (SOSAD). In this, you will be introduced to an important topic: THE ART OF PROMPT AND RIGHT DECISION MAKING, this will help you to make the right decisions about your life anytime you want to do so.
If you need more information on how to register for any of SOSAD courses, kindly call Mr. Stephen on +2348163800077 or send a mail to [email protected].
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