For the last few weeks, I have been thinking about time, in particular, how to infuse spiritual timing into everyday life.

Spiritual time is about being in the moment.

All the exercises used by my spiritual teacher, Adnan—slow movement, breathing, chanting, whiriling, and druming— are all designed to bring us to the moment and to connect with spirit. 

Much of my life, however, I live in mental time. Mental time is the time I spend thinking about other things. I think about the past through memory and the future through imagination. I think about problems and how to solve them. I check Mapquest for directions to meetings, and input the address in my GPS. I research electric toothbrushes and which nonprofit will make better use of my donation for the planet. When in mental time, my connection to the moment is lost. And I have noticed, haven't you, that in mental time, moments speeds by unnoticed and hours evaporate.

When we first entered this world, only the moment exits. We lived moment to moment experiencing the world through the framework of our needs. We cried when we were hungry or soiled, enjoyed eating and tender touch, and slept when we were tired. LIfe was an endless show. There seemed no end to the things we could observe, experience, and comprehend. 

This blissful time did not last. We soon became socialized to the mental constructs of everday life. We learned about playtime, naptime, bedtime, feeding time and timeout. Initially they were simply experienced, soon they shaped and formed how we interacted with our world. 

In my exploration of everyday time I was stunned by the many words we have for various time experiences, e.g. wintertime, springtime, bedtime, dinnertime, down time, vacation time, departure time, arrival time, tax time. And then there are the contextual word for time that rivit us to the clock: on time, ahead of time, out-of-time, just in time, behind time, wait time, and no more time.

I had a recent encounter with "out of time,” which made me realize how much I am controlled and manipulated by these time categories and my own expectations and assumptions.

Right before my meditation class, two weeks ago, my internet went out. I started to panic while frantically trying to fix it “in time.” As the minutes slipped away, I was soon, “out of time”

With my breath quickend and my heart pounding, I logged into my Zoom classroom 22 minutes late. I was sure the room would be empty.

I felt bad for making anyone having to wait for me, for failling to check the internet earlier, for not having the phone number of my internet provider, all thes thoughts of what happened and didn’t happen.

Instead of an empty Zoom room, I found four people were waiting for me! I quickly put on a drumming tape to shift my consciousness and proceeded with the class.

Afterward, my husband (who is never in a rush for anything) asked why I got so upset when I was late. I said, “I’m afraid people won’t wait for me. That I’ll be left behind.”

That moment hit me. Where did this fear even come from? I’ve never actually been left behind. In fact, I’m the kind of person who shows up early to everything. 

I quickly realized that this response was an old pattern. It has been a source of anxiety for me for years. It has me rushing to and from Costco whether I need to or not. I leave for the airport and imagine all the things that might happen to cause me to miss my plane. I am impaient with slow drivers that cause me to miss a green light.

What if these delays, these unexpected interruptions in my timing are spirit reminding me to slow down? What if instead of fretting, I enjoyed the pause?

At Sufi camp I often heard the term “Sufi time.” It meant that people I was expecting to meet would often be late. I would rush to be on time only to wait 15 or 20 minutes for the person to finally arrive. Finally, I got it and began to arrive when it felt right. Often it WAS the right time. This is Sufi time — the right time, right place, right connection. It is about abandoning worry and trusting the moment and ourselves.

Recently I was driving to a speech contest. Although, I had plenty of time, I still fussed. I could not get my iPhone GPS to work. Although I had directions from the internet, I raced along the highway in a rush. You never know what might be waiting ahead.

When I left the highway, there is was: a BLOCKADE on the road I was supposed to follow! Now what?! I had to decide fast. I followed the other cars and magically we all returned to the same street that had been blocked. But I had no idea how far I had come or if I had already passed my turn off.

I drove for another 5 miles, worry nagging at my thoughts. Finally, I decided to pull on to a side road to check a map. Just as I was about to turn, a woman passed in front of my car. I recognized her! She was going to the same event I was — on foot! I couldn't believe my luck. I offered her a ride and she used her phone GPS to guide me the rest of the way. This is the magic of Sufi time. When we stop worring and surrender to what is, everythings falls into place.

Last weekend, driving back from visiting my friend, Loni, I noticed myself speeding up after a few cars passed me. That's interesting. I did not really want to drive that fast. It made me tense. Why was I rushing? There was no one waiting for me at home. Rushing, when driving is dangerous habit. When I rush the moment is lost. So, I slowed down. I relaxed and became conscious of my driving.

This is my new practice -- to stop rushing while driving.

There are so many ways that our social world can reve us up to move faster than we want. The first step is become aware. The goal is to be in the right time instead of on time.

Join me on Sunday, May 4th, at 10:30 PDT and Tuesday, May 6th, at 8 am PDT to enjoy a restorative dose of Sufi time.

If you do not have the new Zoom link, please send me an email. 

With joy,

Dr. Michelle

Life Transformation Coach

Empowering Women to Reinvent Their Life After Loss

Secrets of Life and Death

PS: I have been on several podcasts recently, speaking about complex grief and healing. Click here to listen the latest, or search for "Midlife with Courage - Kim Benoy, episode 215.