Mr. Big Stuff, who do you think you are?
Sep 17, 2020 12:56 am
“What am I doing here? These people are going to see right through me! They’ve got the wrong guy!!!”
Those were just some of the thoughts racing through my head as I was getting ready to hit the stage in Germany and present to some of the brightest marketing executives and CEOs in the world.
I was scared 💩less!
I had been hired to speak and facilitate a workshop for this group of heavy hitters about innovative marketing and intrapreneurship (how to get big companies to think and act more like startups). Topics that not only I happen to be an expert at, but also very prepared to talk about.
I had done this a million times before, but there I was, doubting my very existence and qualifications.
I felt like the biggest imposter ever.
And that’s when I got my cue...“...welcome Ralph Quintero” 😬
That presentation turned out to be one of the very best I had ever done. It was successful in every regard and I received amazing reviews!
So why did I feel the way I did?
On my flight home, still on a high from the event, I had an unforgettable experience. My seatmate in 3A was Kevin Costner...yes...this Kevin Costner!
I assumed he was in Europe filming a new movie. But he wasn't… He was performing with his band, Modern West! (I had no idea he was a musician)
Kevin (we were on a first name basis now 😂) told me how he was scared shitless as he went on stage to perform at the biggest festival show his band had ever played.
“What were people going to think? What were the other headliners going to think?”
Kevin-f'ing-Costner was suffering from Imposter Syndrome just like me!
🤡 Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome is described as “a feeling of phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement. While these people “are highly motivated to achieve,” they also “live in fear of being ‘found out’ or exposed as frauds.”
This is a real thing that not only affects me and Kevin Costner either… Albert Einstein, Seth Godin, Maya Angelou, Tina Fey, Tom Hanks, David Bowie, Sheryl Sandberg, and Michelle Pfeiffer have all suffered or continue to suffer from this. Maybe even you suffer from it. But as you can see you’re not alone.
According to research, an estimated 70% of women and 50% of men will experience imposter syndrome at least one time in their lifetime.
This is because of something called the Dunning-Kruger Effect which shows that the more skilled you are at something, the more likely you are to feel like you’re ‘faking it’.
While there isn’t necessarily a “cure” for this syndrome, there are some things we can all do to help deal with it.
3 Steps For Dealing with ‘I’m a Fraud Mentality’
1️⃣ Share Your Feelings - It’s OK to let others know how you feel. Remember, you’re not alone (that’s one of the reasons I’m sharing this with you today).
2️⃣ Change Your Script - Changing your inner script changes your story. Rather than thinking about all the reasons why you’re not qualified to do something, focus on all the reasons why you are.
3️⃣ Fake It ‘Till You Make It - Regardless of how you feel, don’t let it stop you from taking action. Get out there and do it - just like I did with my presentation. By taking action and not letting imposter syndrome paralyze you, your confidence will get a major boost.
If you want to learn more about this topic, there’s a ton of great resources out there about Imposter Syndrome. Here are some you can start with:
📔 Read this: Imposter Syndrome
👀 Watch this: How you can use imposter syndrome to your advantage
👂 Listen to this: Deliciously Ella - Imposter Syndrome & Self-Doubt
And finally, I’ll leave you with this thought…
(Save this pic to your phone so that you have it handy whenever you need a friendly reminder)
💡 More Thoughts, Big Ideas, & Cool Stuff
These are the things that I’m thinking about, listening to, watching, reading, discovering, or enjoying this week. Click the links and enjoy them with me.
👖 Fun Fact - I have not worn pants since February 29th thanks to COVID!
📚 Read - 5 proven psychological copywriting triggers that compel people to buy - Have you ever wondered why you get sucked into certain ads or infomercials? Or why do you buy the things you do? There’s a LOT of psychology behind it!
📺 Watch - A future sales master: This young girl wants to sell her little brother so she can buy a toy owl 😂
📬 Sign Up Right NOW - I ❤️ email newsletters. And this one from Harry Dry that’s all about marketing is in my top 5 right now. Sign up for it...it’s free and you won’t be disappointed.
As always, keep coming up with ideas, dreaming big, and taking action! (and don’t doubt yourself!)
‘Till next time...
Ralph Q out!
P.S. - It would be awesome if you could share this with one of your friends or teammates that may enjoy it! Just forward them this email or send them this link: http://ralphq.com/newsletter so they can sign up. You can also send them here http://ralphq.com/past-issues to read past issues.