I hope this message finds you navigating the workweek with resilience and a dash of inspiration.

Can I tell you a secret? I HATE confrontation. I have said it; it is out in the open, ready for me to chew on and ruminate.

Yes, I used the "hate" word, and although I am not fond of the word, conflict elicits a strong emotional reaction. I start to shake, become sick to my stomach, and shut down emotionally. I work virtually as a nonprofit Operations Manager and as an Executive Assistant with other nonprofits. There are bound to be situations where I must confront a co-worker, a vendor, or a client. How can I do this and stay sane?

Let's dive into a topic many of us dread but can't escape – confrontation. Yep, that word that sends shivers down our spines and makes our stomachs do somersaults. The mere thought of it can be paralyzing, leading to a sea of self-doubt and second-guessing.

Embracing Empathy: Seeing Through Their Lens

One revelation that has reshaped my approach to confrontation is realizing the power of empathy. Instead of viewing it as a battlefield, I've started looking at it as an opportunity to understand the other person's perspective. It's not just about standing my ground but finding common ground. Maybe they're dealing with their struggles and past traumas or don't see the situation as I do. Approaching confrontation with empathy has helped me forge connections instead of burning bridges.

Acknowledging Past Traumas: It's Not Personal, It's Protective

Confrontation often stirs up deep-seated emotions, and sometimes, these emotions are rooted in past traumas. Recognizing that someone may be reacting from a place of hurt or fear has been a game-changer for me. I've found a middle ground by acknowledging their pain without compromising my boundaries, allowing for constructive conversations. Sometimes, that conversation includes saying, "I am sorry." It's about understanding that their difficulty might not be directed at me but is a defense mechanism shaped by their past experiences.

Communicating Without Being a Doormat: Finding the Balance

One challenge I face is the fear of becoming a pushover in the quest to avoid confrontation. Striking a balance between empathy and assertiveness is crucial. It involves expressing my needs and concerns without bulldozing the other person. It's about fostering an environment where we can address issues together, ensuring neither party feels alienated or steamrolled. Sometimes, it is about walking away. (Lisa's musical side is now singing, Let it go, let it go...)

Do I have it all figured out? Nope! Do I still face the shakes and nausea when I feel someone is manipulating me or disrespecting me? Oh, yes.

Remember, navigating confrontation is a journey, not a sprint. It's about evolving and adapting, finding the delicate equilibrium between standing your ground and extending a hand.

As we embrace the confrontations that come our way, let's strive for a workplace where understanding reigns and conversations lead to growth rather than division.

Let's work to build a culture where we can thrive as a team in the workplace.

Best Regards,

Lisa Olinda, Chief Chaos Whisperer, Olinda Services

P.S. Read more about my THINK system. Is it thoughtful, helpful, inspiring, necessary, or kind?