For Christmas, a lovely client sent me a bracelet that says "Chaos Goddess." I smile every single time I see it. But what happens when the Chaos Goddess gets overwhelmed? 

We recently experienced another death in our extended family. The family member is my age. It has been a time to reflect. I also pull back when I am hurting.

My reflection has put a pause on some things. I haven't been active on social media. I didn't send out my weekly newsletter. Why? 

It is because I have been embarrassed by grief. In my head, I say, "no one wants to hear about my grief." They don't want to be pulled down by my sadness. 

On Facebook, I posted a question. 

"Can you become saturated with grief? Someone recently asked about empathy, and it has me thinking as our family deals with another loss. Does our compassion deepen as we share the grief and the loss, or do we become hardened by the pain?"

Dear friend, Carrie, posted this response. 

"oh, friend - my heart hurts with you. Some of us don't harden or numb; we just develop stronger coping."

This resonates with me. Empathy refers to an active sharing of another person's emotional experience. I channel my experience with pain, hurt, and grief to help others. Share in their experience. I always have.

• I was the girl in school who played with the unpopular girl on the playground so they wouldn't be alone.
• My experience with losing a pregnancy at 20 weeks has helped me counsel other young mothers through this pain. 
• My experience with being abandoned as a teenager by my fathers has helped me work with teenage girls and guide them through the quicksands of emotions and wanting to feel loved. 
• My experience with death has helped me deal with clients facing similar circumstances. I am a firm believer in prayer and have experienced the joy of others praying for me and feeling the calm and peace of God's grace. I often pray for others that I know are facing similar burdens. 

I will wrap this up by saying that although I have been quiet on social media and apologize to my newsletter friends for not posting last week, I am reflecting, growing, and learning to cope. 

As I grow, I will pass this growth on to my clients and my audience as I develop into the Chaos Goddess some see. In reality? By God's grace, I am just a woman living my dream of helping others. 

Lisa

PS How are you? If you need to talk, please let someone know so they can wrap you up in love and prayers. I am here. Just hit, reply.