Howdy,

Growing up, I was taught to justify why I was feeling before it was OK for me to feel.

Later in life, I learned to do the same for my truths.

One of my truths is that from the age of 13 I performed sexual acts for older men on Skype.

At 17, that became prostitution with older men in the real world.

When I tell people this the first question they want answered is: Why?

"Does this mean you're gay?" is the most common ask.

If I'm gay, somehow, that justifies the pain I caused for both myself and for others.

I used to tell people I wasn't sure.

It stems from childhood trauma.

I prostituted myself because I felt validated by these men.

Those aren't lies.

But the truth I needed to own was that I did what I did because I wanted to hurt myself.

I owe a huge thank you to Quan Huynh for helping me see where I still needed to take ownership in my life.

No one has taken ownership over their lives the way that he has.

If you want to know more, you can listen to our conversation here:

(9/28) Writing Prompt: Write down something that you are struggling with. It can be one sentence or one page long. It can be big or small, like arriving late to a meeting or a recent break up.

Look at the words that you wrote down and see where you didn't take ownership. Search for sentences that have the word BUT in them.

Remove the word BUT and find ways to fix the sentences so that everything you describe is YOUR responsibility.

Regards,

Nick