Dear Friends,
How have you been?
I wanted to send out this note before the year ends, I wanted to open up before coming back stronger in the New Year!
This year has been one of the hardest ever, but I don’t give up on myself. I have hope…
We live in a world where most people only show the good sides. We act like everything is ok, like we’re doing great, when really many are going through struggles.
Yet when you go online and doom scroll, it seems everybody is having wins and living their best life. It’s easy to compare ourselves and wonder why we aren’t feeling the same way. We can feel discouraged and wonder why not us, or we can look inside and accept our situation, yet choose to work on ourselves to make changes.
This year, I pursued my most personal project ever, I released my first book sharing my story with the world. I had big hopes and dreams for this project to instigate change in my life.
I asked the question:
« Is it possible to make a living doing something you love that has meaning and purpose, and if so, what does it take? ».
But for the present time, it feels like I failed. I am in a transitional period that has been painful. I lost my main source of income and launched my book hoping this new venture would be the new source, but it didn’t happen how I wanted it to. So I’ve had to go back to the drawing board…
All I could think of are the « should’ve, would’ve, could’ve’s »…
My ego took a huge hit, as did my bank account. As a consequence, I’ve hurt and disappointed people around me. But most of all, I disappointed myself. This led me down a dark path. I second guessed everything. My brain couldn’t help but focus on the failures, the wrong choices, the regrets.
I guess this is what they call the « midlife crisis ». Questioning everything about our lives. Wondering where we went wrong. Pointing the finger and blaming the people and circumstances that led us down this path in the first place. Feeling like a victim, powerless, hopeless. Surrendering to what others suggest we should be doing or should have done.
Feeling like it’s too late to start, too late to change. For so long, I felt like it was too early, I needed more…
More experiences, more validation, more social proof, more successes to justify me getting started.
How could I claim that « we could do it » if I wasn’t successful at doing it myself?
This made me feel like a fraud.
Another guy trying to sell a dream to others. My principles, my ethics, my need to be honest and truthful kept me from finding the necessary self-confidence to put myself out there.
Who was I kidding?
The voices in my head when I’m alone are so vicious and brutal. No one could ever judge me more harshly than I judge myself. In many ways, I am truly my own worst enemy. Yet I know I’m not the only one…
Maybe you struggle with these issues as well.
I guess it’s part of the human condition. Dealing with the poison and punishment we inflict on ourselves. As if we needed to be perfect to take action. As if we couldn’t help anybody until we helped ourselves.
Some say helping others is actually how we find the confidence and validation to accept ourselves as we are. By realizing that we are all struggling with life, dealing with the ups and downs. But that it’s possible…
Anything is possible if we pour our heart and soul into it and take relentless action towards our goals. Some call it an obsession and say it’s more powerful than passion.
Obsession can seem unhealthy from the outside. It can even look crazy. But again, who’s crazy? The people pointing their finger at the so-called « madman » or these people looking at this man and judging him thinking they know better while he looks at them thinking they are lost…
I have often felt like a madman…
Misunderstood like the Nina Simone song.
Trying to explain myself, justify my actions and make it make sense. Searching for validation and acceptance.
But life is too short to live it trying to satisfy other peoples expectations.
Yet it’s long enough to see our ideas and dreams come to life if we patiently persevere till the day we can say « I told you ».
Maybe then they’ll understand and say « Wow! You were right ». But we’ll never know if we don’t try.
It’s time to say « Fuck it"! Let’s see what happens…
Time to break our bad habits and embrace our « mad habits ». We can do and become whatever we want! Whatever we decided to do with our life is our choice at the end of the day.
Whether you are religious or just spiritual, or don’t believe in anything, I wonder what we’ll think or how we’ll feel when our last breath comes along, if we’re still conscious to understand that that’s what’s happening.
Will we see our life flash before our eyes?
At that point, there will be no more pointing fingers, we’ll have to accept the fact that we are responsible for our life and what we do with it.
I don’t want to think back with regrets. I want to tell myself « I did my best ».
I want to die empty…
And so that starts now, it starts today, everyday… Until it’s over!
Everyday can be a new beginning if we choose.
And that is my resolution for this new year.
On this last day of 2024. I choose to make 2025 the year I go for it with everything I have! And I wish the same for you, for us all!
What have we got to lose?
We’re going to die some day anyway…
In the meantime, who cares what people think?
They won’t be there to judge when we take our last breath. It’ll only be us vs us.
Don’t let fear dictate your thoughts and your life.
If life is a game, it’s time to go all in!
Let’s play!
Win or lose. Let’s have fun in the process.
That’s all there is to it.
Play on!
I will see you in the field, on the court, in the arena, fighting for what we believe in!
I wish you luck, courage and blessings on your journey!
More Power 2 Us!
I'll talk to you soon to wish you a Happy New Year!
Your friend,
Mike H
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