Straws are great for sucking stuff. Especially when you're a kid. If you're an adult, skip the straw and go suck something else. #straws #suck

Our various dogs over the years have had quite a few accidents. I'm not crazy about it but it seems to come with the territory, like when babies puke on you. #dog #shit #dogshit

I'm all about pissing in large bodies of water, but I worry about the parasitic worms in the Amazon that swim up the stream of urine and sink claws into the urethra up in you penis. Not good. #urine #piss #urethra #ocean

Another day that the world doesn't need. I love ice cream, but this is among the least necessary of days. #icecream #pie

I am hopeful about renewable energies to get us off of fossil fuels. Over the next few years we all need to change how we think about fossil fuels, and vote in politicians that will mobilize the country. A little grumpy cat will help bring that change. #cat #climatechange #vote

National Break Wind Day is not a national holiday. Yet. #fart #dog #dogs #holiday

It looks like a lot of careful planning went into this casual look, which annoys me. #hipster #sunglasses #hug #hugs

Kittens can basically do nothing wrong. It's all great. It's like being in love. Then you get married and the reality sets in. #catsofinstagram #kittens #kitten #cat #marriage

I’m still not expert at this but I hope to be one day. #nose #nosepicker #school

I love sitting on my ass but my circulation ain’t what it used to be. Also hemorrhoids. #ass #hemorrhoids