I’ve met some crazy f***ing people.

Three women who all claimed to be the reincarnated Queen Victoria.

A president of a country that isn’t legally recognized by anybody (seriously, go Google “Liberland”).

A beloved voice actor from your favorite childhood video game who turned out to be kind of a perv (rhymes with "Mario").  

I almost met John McAfee, the founder of McAfee Antivirus, face-to-face in 2017 at a meet-and-greet, but he got stabbed leaving his South Las Vegas hotel and bolted from the state that afternoon (as soon as he was discharged from the hospital—of course, he kinda just walked out of the ER, but that’s a whole other story).

The wildest for me was a congressman I knew back in Virginia—a wild man with big plans, a real dude’s dude. He was already looking for a clean way out of politics, but what would come next was a mystery to him.

A few friends and I visited him in D.C. one afternoon and ended up chatting for hours about all sorts of things. The question of what he’d do if he really left “the game,” as he called it, came up.

“You know cartels use dolphins to smuggle cocaine to Florida?” he told us.

“No, I can definitely say I didn’t know that,” I replied.

Here’s the breakdown: Apparently, these dolphins sometimes travel for days with bricks of cocaine taped to their bodies—cruel and horrible, I know.

“Sometimes the bricks get cut or break open somehow, and these dolphins inhale pounds and pounds of cocaine while swimming across the Gulf of [America]"

NOTE: This story was from 2019 but I’m not calling it the Gulf of Mexico.

He had either done his homework or watched a ton of National Geographic.

“Well, these dolphins get recovered by the Coast Guard, and you can’t just shoot them once you realize they’re violent because they’re all addicted to cocaine now. So they go to some animal sanctuary where they live in a tank by themselves and at least get taken care of for the remainder of their short lives—their brains have shrunk, and their hearts are now twice the size from all the cocaine…”

Yeah, I know, depressing. He had us convinced he was a humanitarian or something and wanted to care for these cocaine dolphins.

“So what do you want to do with them?” my friend next to me asked.

“Take them all to Haiti and have people pay to fight them.”

Yeah, how you are feeling right now? That is how I felt too.

“Ten thousand dollars to get a weapon of your choice, and you step into the tank. Just you and the dolphin and only one of you lives.”

For context, to save time explaining the legalities of animal cruelty laws in Haiti; these people would have to sign a waiver, of course.

“That’s your retirement plan?” I asked.

“Yeah,” the congressman lit his third cigarette of the night. “I’ll call it Cocaine Dolphin Thunderdome.”

The moral of the story is that if you don’t go out and meet people, you’ll never meet someone like my friend, the (former) congressman.

If you’d like to get a story like this of your own, I hope to see you at the upcoming Networking Happy Hour a few friends and I decided to put on at the bar at The Front Yard at Ellis Island Casino & Hotel on Friday, August 15th, at 6:00 PM.

Come for the networking and drinks, stay for the guy or gal with some insane story to share.

Register on Eventbrite for free today.

Seeya then,

Remso W. Martinez

Owner & CEO

Marketer on the Run LLC

Cell: 254-833-1094

https://marketerontherun.com