Hey ,

If you’ve ever felt like part of you craves closeness while another part panics at the thought of it—you’re not broken.

That push-pull is the hallmark of disorganized attachment.

And it makes sense. If love was both comforting and threatening at times in the past, your nervous system learned to be on high alert. It may feel like there’s no safe move—no right way to love or be loved.

But here’s the truth:

You can start creating safety from the inside out.

Not all at once. But moment by moment.

Here’s one of those moments:

🌿 The Both-And Practice

1. Place your feet flat on the floor. Let your hands rest in your lap.
2. Breathe slowly and say aloud or silently:
3. “It makes sense that I feel confused. I can hold two truths at once.”
4. Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
5. Say:
6. “I want connection. I want safety. I can begin to have both.”

This kind of gentle inner coherence is where real healing begins.

Bonus reflection:

Which part of me feels most scared of closeness?

Which part of me most longs for it?

Name them. Let them both belong.

There’s nothing wrong with how you adapted.

And there’s so much right with how you’re choosing to grow.

More support is coming soon.

You’re already doing something extraordinary.

With deep care,

Dolphin, Phillipe & Francesca - The Journey To Secure Team